Lying control freak with affection issues.

To whoever reads this, I apologize for what is likely to be a rambling mess.
 
Yesterday sucked. No two ways about it. I started getting on my wife's nerves when she presented me a problem with her phone, and I immediately went into IT mode rather than just acknowledge her concern, and agree to looking into getting a new phone. Made things worse while we were at work (we work together) by continually interrupting her while we were having a conversation. Final straw was when I tried showing her something new, and she was tired and not having it. This lead to us arguing and having a meltdown. The meltdown centered around the fact that I was falling back into old patterns (freaking about money, lying, controlling situations, and not showing affection) for the umpteenth time, despite my continual promises that I would stop. She is threatening to leave, and the only reason she isn't is she admitted to not having anywhere to go. I know I'm in deep shit. I know I realistically have run out of second chances, and the only options now are to get to the source of my problems, and resolve things with my wife. My fear is I'm too set in my ways, and I won't be able to stop her from leaving. I feel hopeless right now, and this isn't good for my lying. Any advice that I can be given would be greatly appreciated.