Lucky Day 13
I am trying my hardest to stay positive and upbeat for this round. My Fertility doc reckons we have a 50% chance of success ...he is a pretty cavalier kinda guy, so based on my own research, I would give us a 40% chance. Just less than coin toss odds. I know through my entries that I come across smug and complacent..but really, I am not. It is all just s front. I treating this cycle as if it were the same as if I was just having a "normal" cycle without intervention...its my way of coping.
There is alot riding on this cycle and a lot on my mind right now. I am heading back to work soon and this is particularly pertinent as I work with radiation. So basically, not only do I have to face the humiliation of having an entire clinic know the goings on of my nether regions, but my entire workplace must know as well. Trust me, it is so awful, I would never wish it on anybody. I feel like I am public property and my own personal struggles are the subject of idle gossip. (in fact, I know this to e true as I have overheard many a conversation!) If this first round was to work, then I would be spare me the humiliation of having to tell my boss that we were going through fertility treatment (again).I know it may seem like a first world problem but for someone with an ego as big as mine, it means a whole lot.
Anyway, moving on. I went for a run this morning and when I got back I started having really bad pelvic cramps...am hoping (and sorry advance warning of TMI) its just a bowel issue but they were pretty intense...I hope everything is ok in there!
Blood test tomorrow. Start progesterone pessaries (oh joy of joys!) on Friday.
There is alot riding on this cycle and a lot on my mind right now. I am heading back to work soon and this is particularly pertinent as I work with radiation. So basically, not only do I have to face the humiliation of having an entire clinic know the goings on of my nether regions, but my entire workplace must know as well. Trust me, it is so awful, I would never wish it on anybody. I feel like I am public property and my own personal struggles are the subject of idle gossip. (in fact, I know this to e true as I have overheard many a conversation!) If this first round was to work, then I would be spare me the humiliation of having to tell my boss that we were going through fertility treatment (again).I know it may seem like a first world problem but for someone with an ego as big as mine, it means a whole lot.
Anyway, moving on. I went for a run this morning and when I got back I started having really bad pelvic cramps...am hoping (and sorry advance warning of TMI) its just a bowel issue but they were pretty intense...I hope everything is ok in there!
Blood test tomorrow. Start progesterone pessaries (oh joy of joys!) on Friday.
Replies
Hang in there! You are doing great so far! As far as everyone knowing at work, I decided that I needed to just be open about it, instead of hiding it like I was ashamed. I am not ashamed, its not my fault, nor is it your fault! I figured that if I get emotional and turn a little psycho at work, that it would be better if people knew the truth about why I may be acting like that rather than jumping to other conclusions.