lunch

lunch  Just got back from lunch with Brendan and a couple ladies from marketing. It was nice to get out! It’s sunny and warm today so that helps too! I feel so much better in the afternoon and when I’m out doing something but that worry is always there. I know someday soon I will be able to deal with this better….and when that place I gone I will have learned several valuable lessons about myself, what I can deal with and how to deal with future issues. I feel like such a baby whining about the same stupid thing everyday but right now I can’t help what I’m feeling inside.   I’m getting some work done today but I mostly have test stuff to work on. I have a new thing coming up that I’m not looking forward to but I will deal with it as it comes. Maybe it won’t be as big an issue as I think but who knows. I use a lot of “buts” when I write. This is a sign of negativity and negative thinking. I recognize I’m negative and I’m trying to see the bright side of life but (there it is again!) I’ve dug myself into this deep dark hole of negativity so I can’t expect to crawl out over night. It’s not even 2 weeks for the meds and I’m doing better…..OK…I was going to add a “but” here…..not going to do it!  My journal is so boring. It’s the same old whining about the same old thing. I’m driving my girlfriend and parents crazy I’m sure! Mostly my parents since I try not to dump on my girlfriend. We are in this together so she thinks I’m crazy to worry when she’s not worried at all and doesn’t really see a problem. Right now I see a problem with everything and that scares me because the “what if’s” of this situation make me want to scream then hid under the covers for the next 5-10 years! Can someone call me when the all clear button has been pushed?