lowlife parents...(says it all?)
Yes, i'm aware that at some point you have to play with the cards you're dealt, but this vent my therapy of trying to do just that, with a hopeful better life on first of month, tomorrow...
My lowlife, cold-hearted, drunken, money-wasting, hillbilly parents...who brain washed and isolated me into thinking they were something else. Evil for one word to sum up my evil mom, and worthless for one word to sum up my worthless dad.
So, around age 50?, thanks in part to my first computer, i finally started figuring out most of this...and am stuck still figuring out a little more, whether i like it or not; it just pops into my head, sometimes as soon as i wake up.
So, I'm now living in a hud apartment, on disability, one of few sober people on my rural ghetto block, a couple blocks from where i lived most of my life, with an elderly cat to worry about, hillbilly teeth that were ruined by age 12, no car, no relatives/friends, a "friend' right now showing up for favors.
A part of me certainly thinks I'm lucky---I didn't wind up living in a cardboard box on a sidewalk, or having multiple personality disorder; my brain certainly shut down for decades, putting up with nonsense without ever thinking it over, and once, upon passing a spot on a city sidewalk, thought how it looked like a good place to sleep!
And, i am 'alive', or, at least, still existing. My lowlife parents were losers, i'm a loser, but, winner enough, to have the final word re all this; history is written by the winners. And, i'm still able to (crazily?) imagine some sort of better future, with the first day of the week or month always, 4ever, a chance to forget all this and start afresh.
My lowlife, cold-hearted, drunken, money-wasting, hillbilly parents...who brain washed and isolated me into thinking they were something else. Evil for one word to sum up my evil mom, and worthless for one word to sum up my worthless dad.
So, around age 50?, thanks in part to my first computer, i finally started figuring out most of this...and am stuck still figuring out a little more, whether i like it or not; it just pops into my head, sometimes as soon as i wake up.
So, I'm now living in a hud apartment, on disability, one of few sober people on my rural ghetto block, a couple blocks from where i lived most of my life, with an elderly cat to worry about, hillbilly teeth that were ruined by age 12, no car, no relatives/friends, a "friend' right now showing up for favors.
A part of me certainly thinks I'm lucky---I didn't wind up living in a cardboard box on a sidewalk, or having multiple personality disorder; my brain certainly shut down for decades, putting up with nonsense without ever thinking it over, and once, upon passing a spot on a city sidewalk, thought how it looked like a good place to sleep!
And, i am 'alive', or, at least, still existing. My lowlife parents were losers, i'm a loser, but, winner enough, to have the final word re all this; history is written by the winners. And, i'm still able to (crazily?) imagine some sort of better future, with the first day of the week or month always, 4ever, a chance to forget all this and start afresh.
Replies
whatever you are, you\'re a good writer.
Thanks.
Was definately ages ago that I was on the high school newspaper, for a few months.