Low energy is a relief sometimes.
The energy is gone. Sleeping so good. Lots of dreams. Sometimes I live for dreams. Been writing them down. Grateful I don't have some silly job I have to show up for. Felt happy this morning. I think I have a mild form of skitzophrenia. Been reading a book written by Carol North whose a recovering skitzo. She seems to have episodes that resemble mania and depression. I suspected it all along but was told I functioned too well. She became a Dr. So I am definitely not too high functioning. Anyhow I feel a huge sense of relief. I've been trying to fit in like a square peg in a round hole. Now perhaps I can enjoy my other worlds without trying to be something I am not and help people handle their fear about not being all here. I always felt loved by God and AA incourages nurturing a loving relationship with the Universe. I have done and keep doing this. Life is like magic for me. I'm not sorry. It's lonely at times, well most of the time. But I love my insights and spirit friends who are always there guiding me and fighting to protect me. I trust them. There are bad forces to recon with but I have lots of good ones on my side. I have cultivated that and I feel like it has been an answer for me. Today I am at peace with my dream world and that is the biggest thing in my life. I don't know which one is more real, truly. I only know that today I feel blessed, not cursed.