Love my husband again
Since finding proof that my husband lied about the extent and duration of his affair, and learning that he has narcissistic personality disorder, I have decided that it is fruitless to love someone with these character flaws. I have committed to staying married to him, but I don't have to love him..I am now working on loving myself, but not in a narcissistic way.
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I understand. I love myself now a LOT more than I love him. Before, it was the opposite. I adored him. Now that I see what kind of game he played on me, I gave him a bit of his own medicine.
I no longer have the goal to love my husband again. He has been doing everything that he knows how to do to make up for his betrayal and I acknowlege his efforts, but we will never be the same again.
It boggles the mind that he pursued the OW knowing that he did not plan to make a life with her, and continued to lie to me as if time was on his side and he could keep the compartmentalization going on indefinitely. Now he has left two vulnerable women hating him--her reasons: he pursued her and had no intentions of leaving me; my reasons; he decided that i didn\'t love him and embarked on an unbelievable treacherous journey that blindsided me when I discovered it and caused him to almost lose me and his family.
I wonder how it feels to know that you have unecessarily f@##up the lives of two women who didn\'t deserve it!