Lost Mom
Today is the day I lost my mom 38 years ago. As I think back sometimes I do wind up in a funk around this time. . . missing her, mourning her incomplete life (though it was filled with much happiness, there was still alot of sadness) This morning I was not even really thinking about that.
This week away from work and all its problems has freed much of the tension. My visit with a former classmate on Friday and then a weekend reprieve of no insurance calls did start my day off so much better. I got a few things done, but then felt I needed to recheck info and who covers what. I tried calling Medicare and of course got kicked to the website where I did finally find my answer. MEDICARE DOES NOT COVER INSULIN PENS OR NEEDLES... ONLY PUMPS. Which I do not have. So that leaves my Advantage part D and their final cost and I get no additional aid from my secondary or medicaid. Even better, when I look on my claims it now lists it at $53 (was $47) for a 28 day supply of tips plus the $70 for my name brand insulin (I think generic is covered, but who knows) I'm going to spend $20 for the tips at Walmart.
I sat down and figured out what I make after taxes added to my Disability check. It was around $200. I am thinking long and hard about being done trying to continue to work after 2025. The thing is I have no clue what I would get monthly retiring at 63 (they refuse to tell me) So I am wondering if I can just continue to collect my disability and get Medicare and Medicaid to survive (early this year they paid for everything so even with less coming in I would not have to worry about all these bills and the uncertainty each time I go to pick one up.
I saw Mary's journal and was trying to comfort her (feeling ok) but as all this unfolded again, I was headed down the old funk slide.If I think about what can be without work worry or medical bills and stress, I realize it will cut into funds aside from house a bit quicker. But there is some things I would like to do (help with a nonprofit a friedn has for women and children being relocated after suffering abusive relationships.. I have recently gotten several links and info sent my way reminding me (maybe even encouraging me) to pick up with my writing again. I feel like (OK I hope) maybe these are my little steps in another direction.
Not quite as chipper as this morning, but not as downtrodden as I was afraid I'd wind up. That may come a little later as I remember mom ( and dad) . They both had their faults, but I miss them both so much
Replies
dear VQ if you are on disability there is no need to retire.....they are paying the maximum amount you would get now in disability payments and since you are disabled they will pay that until they automatically roll you into full retirement which is different than it was for me because I am older than you....it happened for me at 66 1/2 years old......it will go up to 67 and maybe even 67 1/2 before they would roll you into retirement.....it is automatic....no do not even think of going off disability to take retirement at 63 because disability is a full boat of the money you would get at 67 1/2 already so if you tell them you want to retire they will cut what you get severely...
take that as gospel because I know about SSDI and they rolled me at 66 1/2 to full retirement nothing changed in income levels....but had I asked to go to retirement two or three years ago they would really cut my benefits.....
and sorry down funk hole that is because of memory of your mom dying earlier than a long life...
Kim,
Have you read Mitch Albom's book, The Five People You Meet in Heaven? I Read it long ago, thinking it was a bit weird and not something I immediately got into. But years later seeing bits of it on YouTube and revisiting some re-reading, I was really comforted in thinking of my sister, Mother, and Dad as related to this book's thought that we have things to learn from, and give each other that relates very positively and meaningfully as we go through our lives, and at some point we may have a chance to understand how "losses" were important to the bigger picture (and my read, make Short, seemigly incomplete lives---maybe like your mother's---look more clearly like the important pictures of completeness they really were but we weren't at a point to know yet.
Sofia Maria is grabbing my cuff's reminding me she NEEDS to go to the dog park. I have to take the kid to see her buddies NOW, I guess. She is sweet, but has a convincing set of teeth she's willing to use to persuade more attentive dog parent attention on her behalf. so we are off.
Hugs, Sweet. I think of my family daily, with more smiles than tears, but almost every day a better sense of gratitude for the expressions of love each one shared with me. Quiet hugs and kissed in your loss of you r mom especially. She would be so proud of the woman you are!
Love to you, Dear.
Liam
Bill- that would probably make sense because when I try to see what I would get if I retire at earlier times (like now or 65 ) it says it cannot show since I am currently collecting disability benefits. What happens though if I stop working? Can I continue to collect disability and it's benefits? The original plan that I was to enroll in was a dual plan. With that everything was covered.
Liam,
I am so glad you have your Sofia to keep you in line. lol (and as a loving companion)
You are right and I have been thinking of all the good times and memories I do still have. I am even reminded of some of the reasoning behind things and the whys of some of the bad stuff. But rather than focus on what she didn't have I will focus on so much she did.
Thank you
You have my deepest sympathy for your loss....hugs
Kim Disability is total you no longer need to work.....if you do not need more $$ that is fine.....but I have needed extra income on disability too so I kept on working....
I know nothing about the dual stuff just that it is based on poverty and medicare.....
I'll tell you how to find out about your SS retirement check potential amount. Go online and get hooked up with a social security account online. All that information is listed online in our accounts. I find everything on SS dot gov is easy to understand. You can also look online at the dot gov website about SSDI and it explains a lot of things on there also.
WARNING: Now, you can't retire, you have to stay on SSDI, the disability aspect. If you go on SS retirement benefit, you will lose the Medicare. Stay on SSDI until they roll you over into regular retirement benefits and you'll keep your Medicare.
SSDI is higher than typical retirement benefits is my understanding.
You will be switched to SS regular retirement once you hit your standard retirement age which is likely close to 68 years old. Not early retirement which would be 63 but that is off the table for you. Like I said, you'll lose the Medicare and have to wait until you are 65 to get on it again. I was paying $1300 per month for my affordable care plan good health insurance so keep your Medicare. .
I know this because my spouse is on SSDI like you. He is over 65 and still on SSDI because the rules changed in the last few years to where they keep you on SSDI until regular retirement age which is called something else. And I mean the retirement age where you get full benefits. Not the age 70 thing, that is extra benefits if you wait till 70.
Good for you for sitting down and figuring out the income thing. Maybe you do want to earn less money so you don't get taxed? Many people on SSDI do this, just earn down to the limit. If you go early retirement at 63, you will have to pay for medical insurance and you will pay taxes on any earned income over the amount of your social security benefit.
If you have any questions, send me a DM. I have helped my husband and his friend who died with this stuff and I used to work with older adults. I am on early retirement myself due to health challenges. I didn't want to fight to get disability because I knew they would deny me being at age 62. I used to do paralegal work with a disability attorney, too. She's. Who would have ever thought.
I see you are in some kind of SSDI dual plan. You will have to go back to the SSDI people (a caseworker?) and get on full benefits. Get off the dual plan and stop working. Or, you can cut back on your working hours and go under the amount that is not taxable. It also depends on your disability. My husband is legally blind and those allowable working income is higher than typical for other disabilities.
You might figure out exactly how many hours you can work in one day before the health issues start up, the pain, or whatever. Then how many days a week could you work and not endure the terrible illness effects. If you can't work any, be prepared to defend it. Not trying to scare you but have clarity.
Why did they put you on a dual plan in the first place?