Lost,How do I get through this

I thought the pain of infertility hurts, but this is a whole new level. I physically feel lost and in a complete fog. I don't know how to dig myself out, except that my life feels like I can never be the same. I am sooooo angry. EVERYTHING reminds me that I was pregnant for almost 6 months. My child was here, I will receive his Social Security card soon! I can't take this!!! This doesn't seem fair to have everything taken away and I am suppose to jump back into my life, and I can't. I can't focus on school stuff. With 5 years of infertility, and rollar coaster IVF, then this... I absolutely can't take anymore... I feel so alone, hurt, sad, angry, and depress.

Replies

pamela055
pamela055

Hi, I know what you mean. My son too was conceived through ivf, he passed the day before he was due! It doesn\'t seem fair that we have to endure both. If you didn\'t know, today is international babylost mother\'s day, so happy mother\'s day! I wish you some peace today, I am here if you want to talk. Hugs, Pamela
Brennasmom
Brennasmom

Losing a child is a pain so intense absolutely nothing else matters. It feels like life possibly can\'t go on, yet everyone is living their life like nothing happened. It is isolating and painful, and the only ones who seem to understand are other baby loss parents. I felt like I lost my happiness, that I would never smile again. But I will tell you this: With time, you will smile again and feel happiness. It has been 4 1/2 months for me, and while the pain hasn\'t gone away, there are now days that are mostly happy and I have regained hope for the future. My DS sisters have been a tremendous support. I hope we are for you too. Be gentle with yourself. Wishing you moments of peace. Hugs, Corrine
nikkinash08
nikkinash08

I agree with brennasmom nothing can compare to the loss of a child. Now almost 8 years later I know for me the only thing that helped was time. And it still hurts but life is barable and for the most part great. It has gotton better. Your loss is so recent that healing hasn\'t even began. Do whatever you need to, to get through the day. Remember I\'m always here if u need to talk.
Tryingtomakesense
Tryingtomakesense

I am so sorry. You have been on my heart. You are in my prayers and I can only ask God to help you keep putting one foot in front of the other until you can see a thread of hope...and feel His love for you! I am just so very sorry you are going through this.
FNP
FNP

My heart is so sad when I think of your pain. Soooo wrong and unfair and mean I promise to pray for you daily that you have moments of peace and for your strength to somehow continue. Hugs know you are thought of soooo frequently
Wannababybad
Wannababybad

I have such a heavy heart for you! I have no idea the pain you feel but just want to remind you that with God anything is possible...even getting through the worst pain ever.

Matthew 19:26
Jesus looked at them and said, With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.
deleted_user
deleted_user

I am praying for you every day. I know there is nothing any of us can do but to be here to listen and support you. There is no way to understand this sorrow. I don\'t know how or when your healing will start, but I do know that God is with all of us during our suffering and helps us to get through one moment at a time. We are here for you.
EELC
EELC

Saying a prayer for you. Hang in there and just keep breathing. Have you looked around to see if the hospital or your town has any in-person infant loss support groups?
ardua
ardua

Praying for you. I\'m so sorry for what you have gone through. I pray for God to heal your heart and give you strength to go on. You will never forget but I think God can make it easier to go on. (((Hugs)))
deleted_user
deleted_user

Praying for you to find comfort and peace. Know that we here at DS will be here for you, we will listen to your words. Everyone says that time heals all, I don\'t believe that, that wound will be there but it will be much less noticable as time goes by. We are molded by what happens to us in life. I do believe that as time goes by each day will be easier for you. You will never forget, but time will make it more bearable. God be with you. I repeat this verse a lot, but I have come to draw strength from it. \"So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous hand.\" Isaiah 41:10