Lost, fed up and lonely

Feeling worse all the time now.  I was just talking with a good friend of mine and he asked me how I have been as we haven't seen much of each other recently due to his work commitments.  I told him the truth, as I pretty much always do; but I said I didn't want to fully go into it because it just sounds like I am moaning all the time.  He tried really hard to cheer me up and said some really lovely things, but it still did not help.  He was talking about how I should try and get out there and maybe find a job to occupy my mind.  I understand where he's coming from but I know I just couldn't do that.  It's been almost ten years since I last tried full-time work, 6 since I tried a part time job and 2 years since I stopped volunteering for a local charity shop.  I explained to him that I do not and have pretty much as far back as I can remember, never envisioned a future for myself.  I find it hard to leave the house pretty much at all anymore.  I am always low, much more than my highs anyway.  I still have an eating disorder and I still constantly think of death.  Deep down I just want to die.