lost it
Thought T was doing "better" or, at least, he was acting better. He started school this week and made it through. Because he's still using he has his moments and didn't come home until very early (~ 3:30 AM) and then last night - not at all. It's now 3PM and nothing. I then exploded on my husband. I have some resentments that came to a head and lost it. I resent him for catering to our son. He wants everything to be as normal as possible and pretends all is okay. frustrated
Update: I am very glad I wailed on him because we finally talked about it. We were going about our business like everything is "normal" so I needed to say what I said and I'm glad my husband finally opened up. Whenever I tried to bring up anything that bothered me about T I've been shut down. Husband never wanted to talk about it. Well, I forced him and, at least, we were able to get it out.
I was trying to be positive about T but it's hard when he pulls this crap.
*Last night I found out that he wasn't coming home for another night. He went to a college campus for the weekend. A six hour drive away. Nice - thanks for telling us. Great - this campus has the reputation of being either the 1st or 2nd party campus in our state. Not that that really matters!
Update: I am very glad I wailed on him because we finally talked about it. We were going about our business like everything is "normal" so I needed to say what I said and I'm glad my husband finally opened up. Whenever I tried to bring up anything that bothered me about T I've been shut down. Husband never wanted to talk about it. Well, I forced him and, at least, we were able to get it out.
I was trying to be positive about T but it's hard when he pulls this crap.
*Last night I found out that he wasn't coming home for another night. He went to a college campus for the weekend. A six hour drive away. Nice - thanks for telling us. Great - this campus has the reputation of being either the 1st or 2nd party campus in our state. Not that that really matters!
Replies
Wow, is it too late to get the tuition back?
Sounds like we are married to the same guy. Since we\'re 9 yrs into this, mine is more into reality, but also deals with it in his own way. mostly by sleeping.
We are going to the hospital together so I can help him be strong today. Have no idea what is next for our son; hope they can get him to a detox facility, but that is what he\'s doing now in the hospital. yes, at times, it\'s hard to stay positive.
I was surprised to feel as supported as I did when I got calls from other AlAnon members. if you can call a friend, maybe it will help.
Actually - son made it through another week of school. Slept in one morning but the rest he made it.
Hubby just wants to ignore the situation. I\'m not saying that I\'m always right but it pains me when my husband goes ahead and does things without talking to me about it. Mother-in-law gave us a $100 check for our son\'s school clothes. Hubby, in turn, cashes it and gives it to son. Son convinced him he was going to but clothes. Instead he buys two hats and keeps the change. If he doesn\'t go to school tomorrow because he spent the $ on \"other things\" - I will try and remain calm - on both the outside AND the inside.
left add\'l comment on my journal site. my husb. did the same things with money and I finally realized i had no say in the matter and that I had made my point of view clear.
The only thing i can do is not let this issue separate us and let the chips fall where they may, but it\'s hard when $ is involved; I hear ya.
The good news is that he\'s still attending school and that he actually made a purchase....otherwise, Bambusue\'s points are well made. Take Care!!