Losing People

So as some of you may know, I lost my mom who raised me in 2008, to COPD, at the age of 63. I just recently lost my biological mom, last month, to heart failure, at the age of 45. And now yesterday someone I saw like a big brother to kidney failure at the age of 39 or so.
 
I literally did not feel anything either way when my biological mom passed, and still don't feel anything for her passing. But today I listened to Evanescence - My Immortal and broke down crying thinking about my big brother. I never met the man aside from Skype calls, after meeting him on one of my live streams during the days that BlogTV was around. But he held a special place in my heart.
 
I will no longer log into PSN to play a game with him, no longer able to talk to him in a Skype call, no longer see his geeky posts on Facebook, no longer have him grace VaughnLive with old school hiphop. It's with great sadness that I have lost a piece of my heart when he passed away.
 
As I type this, I have "Prayer" by Disturbed on repeat.
 
"Let me enlighten you
This is the way I pray
Living just isn't hard enough
Burn me alive inside
Living my life's not hard enough
Take everything away"
To directly quote the song.
 
I just don't know what to feel at this point in time. Anger? Anxiety? Depression? Sadness? I just feel a mix of everything.
 
RIP Scottie B aka halo8877 on VaughnLive/BlogTV. You will be missed. :'(