Losing my religion

I used to be quite religious..at least a follower of my strict faith. I went 38 years never once consuming alcohol. I believed  what was fed to me..but over the recent introspective years I realized I am still living a lie..attaching myself to a faith I didn't whole heartedly believe in..(not to say I denounced it as I find many beautiful aspects of it) BUT I have allowed the disgusting acts of family members and those I knew to cloud my judgment.."well if this is the example of RIGHT I'd rather be WRONG". People upon their pedestals judging the world around them without an ounce of compassion and connection to the Almighty..I don't want that. Keep that shit and the lies you continue to feed yourself because I know wholeheartedly that God loves, accepts and embraces me because he knows and sees my heart.