lose friends

if I wrote down everything I was feeling tonight, I think I would lose all my friends I have here on daily strength. You see I don't think I have a positive bone in my body anymore. Everything turns out crooked or wrong. I never quite sure what I'm doing. I say the wrong thing. I feel so much sadness there is not enough space to place it all here. I can't hold it in anymore I feel as though I'm going to explode. I can't find one positive place in my mind. I used to read to escape but now my brain is always thinking and worrying about my mother and the Alzheimer's she suffers. Because you see, both my grandmother and aunt had Alzheimer's. I'll always have the thought a.m. I next.