Looks Like I'm Getting What I Want... But Why does it Still Hurt So Much ?

Well, this past Thursday Night I finally made it " Crystal Clear " to Him that I'm NOT Happy with Him Here, and that I feel that it would be Best for Both of Us for Him to Leave. The thing was it wasn't the Best Time of Day - ( IF There is a ' Better ' Time of Day for Breaking Up ) - for having a Discussion like that. It was around 2:30AM Friday Morning to be exact. I'm always More Emotional Late at Night anyways, so it didn't make the Conversation go very smoothly at all. The Thing that took Me by Surprise the most was that it was actually HIM that Started the Conversation. He came Up to Me while I was sitting at My Computer in the Living Room, and started asking Me IF I really meant what I said during the Last " Heated Talk/Arguement " We had recently. He said I had told Him during that " Talk " that I was ' Miserable ' with Him Here. He asked Me point blank IF I really meant that, so HOW could I Deny It ?
 I couldn't see the Point in denying the Truth ANY LONGER. There'd be No Point to that.
Of course, as You can Imagine He DID NOT like hearing the TRUTH ! 
ALMOST  IMMEDIATELY HE TURNED EVERYTHING AROUND BACK ON ME... AND HE DID HIS BEST TO MAKE ME FEEL ABOUT AS LOW AS A ' BUG ' ! HE CLAIMED THAT I WAS BLAMING EVERYTHING ON HIM ! I TRIED MY BEST TO POINT OUT THAT I REALLY WASN'T... I WAS SIMPLY EXPLAINING THAT I WASN'T HAPPY, AND ALONG WITH THAT I'VE FELT FOR A LONG TIME THAT HE HASN'T BEEN THAT HAPPY HERE WITH ME, EITHER !
That ' TALK ' ended up with quite a bit of Yelling - Screaming - back and Forth Between US, and then a LOT of Tears from Me ! I told Him that I Still LOVE HIM, BUT I just DON'T SEE A FUTURE FOR US TRULY WORKING OUT !
THAT HURT SO MUCH FOR ME TO SAY ' ALOUD ' ! I CAN'T EVEN BEGIN TO EXPLAIN JUST HOW MUCH THAT HURT ME TO SAY ! I don't think He Understands this. Since Thursday Night He's been Acting as IF He Thinks that My Decision was an EASY ONE for Me ! Well, it WASN'T ! IN FACT I'D SAY IT WAS ONE OF THE HARDEST DECISIONS I'VE EVER MADE !  Even While I'm typing this Journal Entry out My Eyes are Burning from CRYING so Much Today, and This Evening - ( Saturday Evening 8/21 ). 
I'm Trying to tell Myself that He just isn't Worth My Tears.... NOT with ALL of the Very Terrible Things He's Done to Me during the Times We've been Together !
WHY Should I Cry Over Losing Someone Like Him ? It doesn't make ANY sense.. I know this... and I'm telling My Heart to be Strong, BUT it Still HURTS ! My Heart Still feels like it's Breaking ! It still feels like My World is Falling Apart right now !
It's NOT going to be Easy for Me to go BACK to Living ALONE... Once AGAIN !
That's Something that I know is going to take Time for Me to ReAdjust to.
I'm Telling Myself that It's STILL Worth It... I'll be MUCH BETTER Alone, than With Someone like Him. I know this is the REAL TRUTH, despite what He tries to say to Me !
His Moods are TOO Unstable... and Along with that He has a RAGE that's ALWAYS just Underneath His Surface... Just Waiting for the LEAST LITTLE EXCUSE to Come OUT !
Besides Those Things - which would be More than Enough of a Reason to Break Up with Him - ALSO He's VERY CONTROLLING IN MANY WAYS... PLUS, COMPASSION, UNDERSTANDING, AND TRUE UN-SELFISH CARING, ARE JUST NOT EVEN IN HIS VOCABULARY, MUCH LESS A PART OF HIS OVERALL PERSONALITY.
Then ON TOP of ALL of That, He's simply NOT the " Romantic Type "... NOT into ANY Real Forms of Showing Affection; Like Kissing, Hugging, Touching... NONE of that !
I'm 42, BUT I'm NOT Dead YET ! LOL !
I think I DESERVE to have REAL ROMANCE, AND REAL AFFECTION, in My Life !
DON'T I ? DON'T I DESERVE TRUE HAPPINESS ?????
HOW WOULD I EVER HAVE IT WITH AN ' ABUSIVE, UNSTABLE, AND UNROMANTIC ', MAN ?????
Now, I've Just GOT TO somehow KEEP REMINDING MY HEART OF ALL OF THIS.... BECAUSE DESPITE THE TRUTH OF ALL OF THIS, IT'S STILL KILLING ME !