Looking for hope

In my last posting I mentioned about me standing up for myself only to have her threaten me with the cops for harassment , that I won't leave. I tired of having everyone against me including my kids , they don't even keep their nosrs out of our business . I try calling the doctors about my medical problem , the only appointment is not till may 25. But I know its getting worse , size of a softball and a blockage making it difficult to use the restroom, but with her its I can live with it. But no I can't all she is worried about I'd the pay check that she complains about every two weeks. I'm just glad to have a job because of what she did to me. I guess I'll have wait and see what happens.