Looking for an ear
Morning. At my wits end with my spouse. Almost 40 years he's been an alocoholic. And I stay. There is zero respect left in the relationship. He does whatever he wants 24/7 with no regard for me or anyone. I just want to reach out to someone who may understand what I'm doing. I stay - I want out and have no idea how. Others make it look so easy. But I just can't do it. My husband is fall down drunk 2-3 days a week, and has been for 30+ years. He functions all week - and drinks all weekend. He turns everything around to make it my fault. I'm a bitch, I'm a nag, I'm the meanest person on the planet! I cannot handle the constant mental turmoil. I know it's not me, yet he makes me hide from the world because I'm so embarrassed of him. I have no friends, I do not enjoy anything anymore. Yet he is out and acting like he is 18. I'm just defeated as a person. No joy of anything anymore. :(
Replies
I have read your other posts and you mention adult children who encourage you to leave your husband, their father.
Lean on your children, gather strength from them. Ask for their help (temporary housing, financial support, etc). Get a good lawyer, file for divorce, ensure you get what is rightfully yours in the settlement, Get counseling or join a support group if necessary. Many DS members recommend Divorce Care. https://www.divorcecare.org Go live your life, enjoy your children, make friends, join clubs, do the things you enjoy. Find joy once again.