looking Back at 2019

As of today I have been on the h.r.t for 5 1/2 months and I can say that my appearance has changed in a good way but for the doctors a little to quick but they have to put into consideration my size and weight.
Which is making my transitioning successfully so far. Ever since I have left my family back in April of 2019 due to the abuse ONLY. trying to make them understand that was the reason is like talking to the wall. It was about 60 days since I looked into starting to transition, at the time my concern was myself health wise that is, like going to an eye doctor to see what was going on with my sight my blood pressure but during that time, I get yelled at my daughter, wife, and her so called sister, telling me how I could do this to the family for months I have told her many times prior to me leaving that I was getting sick, my eye sight , losing a lot of weight , not getting enough sleep due to the fact that I was working two jobs pretty much everyday with out a break at 80+ hours a week. I was tired. I was lucky having the ability to transfer my job see the doctors not for the transitioning but to see what was wrong withI would love to add my feelings to this matter as I myself know what we go through every day in our lives. As you can read my journals life has had its challenges. As of today I have been on the h.r.t for 5 1/2 months and I can say that my appearance has changed in a good way but for the doctors a little to quick but they have to put into consideration my size and weight.
Which is making my transitioning successfully so far. Ever since I have left my family back in April of 2019 due to the abuse ONLY. trying to make them understand that was the reason is like talking to the wall. It was about 60 days since I looked into starting to transition, at the time my concern was myself health wise that is, like going to an eye doctor to see what was going on with my sight my blood pressure but during that time, I get yelled at my daughter, wife, and her so called sister, telling me how I could do this to the family for months I have told her many times prior to me leaving that I was getting sick, my eye sight , losing a lot of weight , not getting enough sleep due to the fact that I was working two jobs pretty much everyday with out a break at 80+ hours a week. I was tired. I was lucky having the ability to transfer my job see the doctors not for the transitioning but to see what was wrong with me. the eye doctor was not good news finding out that if i didnt have surgery done i would lose my sight with in 6 months that was heart breaking news on top of that was dealing with my wife telling me i am considered dead to them and as of today i am still considered dead to them, havent heard from anyone except for my wife but every time i text her she always gets bent out of shape and starts going off on me thinking that i am ignoring her or not willing to listen and threatns me with court or its about money as if i dont know already that she needs help with.

The holidays where hard for me spending hours crying my eyes out because not once did i get an invintation to come up and spend it with them. i feel alone!!!

she tells me how could i have left my family and she seems like it never bothered her in anyway on how she was treating me, like i was her child or maybe i should say like i was invisible to which i felt like i was with no wedding pix of us together or getting little elves for christmass for everyone except for me and has enough nerve to tell me there was one but i saw none for two straight years. i would take her to pick them up and i would look in the bag for my name DAD only to find nothing. I would be told that everyone is doing fine and she still didnt know where Jacob was at, but of course blaming me for not telling her where he was at, I had no clue where he went and why. i had no communication with the kid.

so thats pretty much covers everything in 2019, working trying to get as many hours as i can and waiting for legal aid to get moving on clearing my background so i may find a decent job before i get to old.