looking back....

Sometimes it's good to look back to see how far you've moved forward.  I, personally, need those reminders to stay positive when I noticed things have slipped a bit.   This month was a difficult one for us last year.  T was using heavily and (noticed a spoon in the basement) getting calls constantly from the assistant principal, sleepless nights, discovery of herion usage, the drama with the girl who gave some to him while he was on house arrest - and the drug bust at an area school that I was indirectly responsible for (made headlines and was on the news), and the awful scene at our home with the police trying to handcuff him and arrest him a day later- sending him to juvenile detention downtown.   Today I really needed to be reminded that - yes he's come a long way - but he still struggles everyday with this problem.  He has been doing so well but know that lifes stresses are upon him - finals.   Red Flag - The last few evenings  he's been "missing in action" - without a phone call for more than a few hours.  Both times after school he didn't come home or call.  The first night we were able to track him down and found out he was down the street with his best friend who was leaving to go back to college the next day.  His friend was one of his using friends over the past few years.  Not sure if this boy has a "problem" like T, but he did party heavily at one time together with T.  Yesterday T had one "final" (which was cleaning up the ceramics classroom - a no-show would be an automatic F).  Well, while I was at the meeting at the school (ironically) my friend, Beth, picked up T and took him to school.  T should have been home at around 11 AM (tutor was scheduled) but he was a no-show and came home at 5PM.   I told him he was grounded that night and tomorrow.  Well, he then got on-line (hasn't done that in awhile), announces that there is no school the next day due to low temps, then gets in the shower.  It certainly didn't look like it to me that he was planning on staying  home (even though he was "grounded").  Well, I checked and found out at that time that school was still scheduled and wasn't cancelled.  We told him he was not to go out.  He then gets back on-line.  I read his instant messages and it said he was planning on going to another town to a party where there would be drinking.  His ride fell through.  The only reason he stayed home.  On the surface it looked like he obeyed us.  Since I did have the info., instead of telling him what I saw on-line (either somtimes he forgets I read his IM's or this was a "cry" for help) I asked him if he was stressed out.  He blurted out that he was.  He said the chemistry is stressing him out.  He is working on past work with the tutor, as well as trying to do the current work which is even more difficult because of the gaps.  He said it confuses him.  He also is not studying at all for his other class.  Says he has too much info. in his head to concentrate.  These stresses he is not used to.  It's been a few years since he had to work on his work sober.  I hope his tutor, who is also in recovery (6 mths) can meet with him today.  Just heard T making plans to "chill" It's chilly enough......