Lookin\' Up

T seems to be doing better.  He is a pistol, at times, but it would be unrealistic to expect perfection.  He went to counseling yesterday and was in a good mood (he got to leave school a bit early, and had a full belly of Chipotle) before his appointment.  The counselor even commented the he was bright eyed that day.  The first time the counselor saw him he was concerned.  T was extremely manipulative and minimized all the negative side effects of his past usage. T was also caught in a lie - saying that he attends AA 3x's a week.  The counselor labeled him a dry drunk.  Then the following appointment T made such a fuss because the time that was set for his appointment was interfering with his senior lunch time and he wanted to be with his friends.  He had told me, however, was because he didn't want to miss chemistry.  And because the counselor was running late, he left.  I knew that this would happen because this wasn't the time he would have preferred to see the counselor.  It was the counselor who told me to tell him that he has to go.  We learn.  I wanted to talk to the counselor after T's appointment, alone, but T wanted to be present.  Well, that wasn't going to work because I really wasn't prepared to say anything with him present.  All I wanted to know from the counselor his take on T.  Even though T seems to be doing better, I did see some talk on his IM that made me suspicious that something was going on.   Unfortunately, the only thing I could think of, to say in the presence of T, was his latest antic of taking off with his friends the evening of the day he was sick from school - after I told him he couldn't go out.  He knows the rule.  T told me that it doesn't make sense and he needs an explanation for every decision I make.  I told him that one of the reasons it upset me was that his defiance is an indicator that he could be using again.  Well , he had a hay day with that comment.  What I meant to say was it REMINDED me of his past behavior.   He then turned away from the subject and, basically, put me on the stand asking me if it makes sense - if he does something like taking off without permission - that shows that he's using.  He completely turned things around - having fun with me.  I felt foolish.  T kept insisting that I answer the question.  I then corrected myself and said that it reminded me of past behavior but he wasn't listening.  He felt very powerful and stuck with my first statement.  The counselor said we were both talking about two different things and told T to listen to what I was saying.  Nothing was really resolved because the only thing the counselor did was repeat what I was trying to say and what T was trying to say.  Basically, it's about my rules and how Todd needs an explanation for them.  The counselor also commented how smart T is.  T smiled.  It's too bad his intelligence doesn't reflex his failing grades.  The upside, however, is he says he's determined to turn things around.  I have heard that before BUT I do believe, as of late- if things continue, that he may be capable of doing so.  The reason for all of this angst?  T is scheduled on Monday to court ordered drug assessment at a 90 day treatment center.  Although I don't think he's "qualified" I needed to know from his counselor what he thought.  I think I know.  If this turn-around is due to the threat of having to go to this place - then whatever it takes.  I would like the reason to be - because HE wants to.  And maybe it is.   Update:  Just got off of the phone with his counselor, who I really like.  I had asked him if I should present to the drug assessment counselor what I saw on-line.  He told me it was my call.  If indeed T is "faking it until he makes it" - that is good or if he's planning at some point once he's off of probation to start using again - it's entirely up to him.  Obviously, there isn't anything anyone can do.  The counselor did say that T is still behaving like a dry drunk, part of his narcissistic behavior is teen related - that these are just part of the teen using package.  I imagine it's easier to see drug behaviors easier in adults...