Look up

Wow I got into stressful situations this AM.  It seems I take on other people's emotions and problems, at home and on the job sometime.  I am recognizing a change in pattern from wanting to rescue other codependent, Al Anon, overwhelmed type people -  I am learning to be more conscious about how I usually respond to this.  I think living w/ Mom makes it harder to create boundaries because I feel indebted to her in other ways for not taking full responsibility for myself sometimes and using her support.  I am paying more rent now finally which feels REALLY good.   I am thinking more about having my own space.  I do have a job, and I'm not sure how long it will last!  I am thinking ultimately though I wish things were different at home that I may need to find another place in order to be healthier, and same with work down the line - home first.  Leaving Doggie behind is probably the biggest heartbreak about that. We'll see.  I may not. Yesterday I lead a friend in a guided meditation.  She and I are doing Al Anon Step 1 stepwork with (ya!)  She wants to add the meditation to our routine.  I'm really excited. It was very helpful for the stress I've been feeling.  She asked me if I'm dating T.  It's kind of a friend with benefits thing. Feels weird I'm ok with that :) I feel much better since I started my period as I did not take homeopathy for PMS and I was weepy and sensitive and it was hard on me.  I had a very hard last couple of weeks or so. I feel grateful I have this job.  I feel grateful I have meetings to attend, a great sponsor, great friends in the program incuding D w/ 60 years of sobriety in AA!  I am grateful I'm inspired to declutter and maybe even paint and recarpet the room, and find my own place somewhere or something. I tend to procastinate so that could be a loong way off knowing me.  But we'll see.  I'm grateful for doing yoga every morning, and I really like being outside when I do it - it's such a healing place to start the day.  I'm thinking about treating myself to hotsprings and massage for my sobriety bday this weekend. :)