Look at me. I hate it
I am starting to hate my looks....I the most uglyiest guy ALIVE...I will defenitly feel sorry for my future wife and kids; they gonna have to cope with my ugly looks and bad personality and depression mode....this is why I don't want to get married....
Why do I look that why. Why can't look like everyone...they all look good...I didn't see anyone like YET and I hope not too...to sum it up no matter who you bring I won't reach EVEN A 1% of his looks..they were all drawn too well
Am I influenced by my parents because they call me ugly. What is it the makes me afraid looking at myself in the mirror...
I might decide to have plastic surgery literally all over...its the only thing my parents agreed today for the first time...but they took it in the wrong way again
they only want to gaurentee my looks have changed to those gangs that raped me 6 years ago won't recongnise me in the streets...they want to make sure no one knows me so they could feel calm...I am sick wearing a cap and sunglasses cuz I am forced to...after all they say it's a small world
Why do I look that why. Why can't look like everyone...they all look good...I didn't see anyone like YET and I hope not too...to sum it up no matter who you bring I won't reach EVEN A 1% of his looks..they were all drawn too well
Am I influenced by my parents because they call me ugly. What is it the makes me afraid looking at myself in the mirror...
I might decide to have plastic surgery literally all over...its the only thing my parents agreed today for the first time...but they took it in the wrong way again
they only want to gaurentee my looks have changed to those gangs that raped me 6 years ago won't recongnise me in the streets...they want to make sure no one knows me so they could feel calm...I am sick wearing a cap and sunglasses cuz I am forced to...after all they say it's a small world
Replies
I am sure you aren\'t at all ugly. Your parent tell you are ugly all the time you start to believe it. My father told me I was a bad little girl when I did nothing wrong as a child and it tuned to your bad, as a digusting individual. It took me years to realized that I had been brainwashed because my father was simply telling me what he felt about himself to make him feel better. So if your parents are saying this to you that most likely deep down feel ugly . You are way to young to reconnstructive surgery. I thought they did believe you where rapped. Are they wanting this so that no one can point you out. You haven\'t had an accident to your face have you? Been burned. I can understand that you would feel very afraid when you are in the city where this happened but I really doubt these sicko will remember that probably done this to numberous boys. Right now you seem to dislike everything about yourself. If you have always told you are not good enough, you are stupid, you are ugly, you , you , you , you. About everything you are going to have a very messed up image of yourself. My mother has this. Very bad. she find a small flaw and it is exaggerated. She has body dismopha. I believe my mothTer was molested as child perhaps raped, because she acts very strange about certain things that are just odd. She has me wear a robe as soon as I hit puberty when my father was around. Yet I was fully covered by a long nightgown. There were other things she did too. She still won\'t tell me anything and I don\'t push her. I have gone through your a piece of crap kid, being hit.,etc, your BAD. It may not be to extent of what you go through but I know I never liked a thing about myself. How can you feel p ositive when the people who are suppose to protect you and love you are the ones who are hurting you and telling you how terrible you are and how you can\'t do anything right no mater how you tried. I tried to be a robot. That sounds wierd it was one of my fake personalities. I didn\'t get emotional, get angry, I asked my father if he wasn\'t this or that, said please and thank you everything my dad was always complaing about that I did do right. I thought if I do this the enviornment will change her won\'t call me names or tell me I am do this wrong or put me down or hit me. Well I was the person he said her wanted and it didn\'t change a thing he sill hit me, he still put me down. It didn\'t matter because I was his personal demeaning and punching bag for all this emotions for everything he felt about him self and all the words he could call my mother who was constantly in the hospital chronicall ill. You have to understand this is what your parents are doing to you and it screws up you persception of how you think you are and and look like . You are seeing yourself with all the names they have called you in your head and no wonder you see ugliness. I did too. After of years realizing I wasn\'t any of the things I had been told I say the world and myself for who I really looked and for who I really was. You have a compassion for others. I had this too. To reach out to other in need and who are hurt. This makes you a beautiful person. A worthwhile person. You have a conscience and you know right from wrong. If you end up having a family you will know to simply to do the oppisite of what was done to you. Because u understand that it was wrong. Right now you need to not look so far into the future you are so young. You need to focus on yourself. I hope you can figure out a way in which you don\'t have to be with your parents. That you can get therapy and not to make excuses up for the way they have treated you. Continual being told u are no good is not goiong you to buildt any confidence. Perhaps in time you can find some one to build a plan to get away from your parents and have legal or police backing you up so that you are foreced to be taken home. Money isn\'t everything. Peace of mind is everything. You may need to move some where there grip on you is lessened. I not saying to go out and do this right now. I am just telling you this would be the best way for you to heal. To be away from there control and comments in which hurt you so badly.