lonley

About a week ago I went on a family vacation it felt good to not be alone for awhile. It was not till we returned home that I came to the conclusion I was depressed. Walking into the house I shared with my husband put such a dark cloud over me I don't know why I thought it would be different then it was when we left. He has been gone for a year now and I have not gone though anything yet. His coat still sits where he left , his shoes by the door. Sometimes I wonder if its bad for the kids to have it this way me pretending like he's still coming home.