longing to hold her!!!

yesterday was supposed to be my angel's due date. I dont know what to do my whole heart and life is totally blank . I hardly have any friends or family to support me through this.i always dream of holding my baby tight ,kissing her and seeing her cry and laugh. Its like dead person walking ...lifeless,emotion less,speechless. I do not know what to do and how to cope up.my heart is really very very happy and i think it will ache till i meet my angel. I feel like a failure to my husband and my son who have not done anything wrong but didnt get sister or a daughter . i wish i can give them what they are longing for.....in future.but i badly want my angel back.