Longing For Peace

Well hope all had a good Easter we stayed home all day and watched movies.It was the longest weekend Justin 1st year and then Easter I was so overwhelmed.One of Justin's friends called yesterday wished us all a Happy Easter I long for the person I used to be.I miss my old self I was doing good.Then when Justin died it was like I had died with him.Rebecca has a  picture in her room of Justin when you look at it, it looks like we are looking each other in the eyes I try to stay out of her room because she wanted that picture I do find myself going in there just to look at him the twinkle in his eyes and that biggest smile and the tears come I find myself talking to that picture it was one of the last picture that was taken of him.  I have read many books on grievng their all different they try and tell you what stage your suppose to be in.I don't know what stage I'm suppose to be in but I'm still trying to understand  all the grief on my shoulders has not or will not go away.We will never forget are preicous babies.I will go to my grave with this. My friend Jean called me today we have been friends for many years.She said something told her to call me. She really didn't know what to say but she here's if I ever need to talk.She says it's so hard to know what to say but that she loves me and hopes God will give me peace all you have to do is just ask for it. I'm not really there yet. But one day Ill be there to help some one who needs someone to listen or a shoulder to cry on. You all are awesome friends thanks so much for the confidece you have given me.I have opened up a little I was a very shy person.Thank You,jfm24,Vicki