long time no see

I haven this site for quite some time bc i try not to think about it 2 much. Dont get me wrong i think about Macy everyday but i just could relieve the pain everyday reading other peoples stories it was like going through the whole thing again. As Macys due date gets closer i am struggling more to get out of bed everyday just knowing i would of held her in my arms in  weeeks time rips my heart out.
On a positive note ive had my 1st set of tests come back all neg so i dont have dibaetes or thyroid or anything like that that is preventing me from carrying full term. My GP thinks it might be a blood clotting disorder. I have been refered to a specialist who specialises in pregnancy after loss and recurrent miscariage. I have to wait another month to get in2 c him. Meanwhile I have gone back on the pill. I need to know whaat  is wrong with me and rule out everything b4 i can try again. I know i cant cope with another loss.
Hope everyone is doing well x