Long term relationships and love

Seems like I writer feweer and fewer of these.  It is not htat I do not have a lot to say, I have bundles.  But I seem to have so little time, just work, play and then after that, no time for the web. North Carolina is starting to move into spring, and I have settled into kind of a warm,  easy to enjoy,  comfort.  Loving me like no tomorrow, my girlfiend treats me so wonderfully, it is hard to believe that I settled for what I had had before for so long.  The coldness and always having to limt who i was contrasted to this relationship in which I can love just as hard as I want, and get back double what I give.  I LOVEI IT!  I need to love hard, overtly and with verbal, romantic declarations.    I love the fact that she will just accept my words of love rather than analyzing each statement for truth and clarity, then deciding she is not like that.  Lookit, I have love clouded eyes.  When they look at her, I do not see that 54 year old I love, I see a beautiful angel,  a woman who makes my heart leap, a woman who fills me with such stong desire, I surely will perish if I do not make love to her right then.  It's wonderful, she does not try to make sense of it, THERE IS NO SENSE!  IT'S LOVE SILLY!  Now, that feeling colors EVERYTHING.  She can act the sexy siren, she can be the silly little girl, she can be my private dancer, she can be my online game bud, she can be ALL of these and every other fantasy she wants.  It is how I LOVE!  And you know what?  SHE DOES TO and that is WHY this is a better relationship for me.     So, today I speak of her, and tell you why sometimes, even a relationship that lasted 33 years, 32 of that married, can be the wrong one.   I surely miss some things, and my ex had a lot of good traits. But she and I both had traits that were absolutely fatal to our relationship.  Surely we could have kept at it.  And we might have achieved once again a comfortable mediocrity.   But then agai, I would not have this.  So just remember, life sux, yes it DOES  It sucks so bad that it seems the air does not have any oxygen left in it, and we feel near death.  But then, after that, the crisp, clean air whooshes in and fills the void and we fill our lungs and souls with that first deep, refreshing breath and we smile at the delight of it.    Oh GOD that hurt, but it feels SO good now that it stopped.  And then,  when joy enters, it is starkly contrasted against the past agony and it is all the sweeter because of it. My heart sings a song, it the tune is just for you.  I sing it to myself, but the world can hear the tune.  For you, just by being  alive, have made me see how good life can be.     And for you others, you know who you are.  Perhaps your life is not where it needs to be.  Just remember, people you have never hugged, people you may never kiss, these people watch you and hope for you, and feel with you and your children.  And perhaps, someday, because I was overtaken by a whim,  there wil be a knock at your door and I will be there to hug you.  Then I will tell you that because you shared your life with me here, I feel as if the hug you are getting then is the hug you needed NOW. Larry