long talk with stepdaughter

I had an interesting night tonight.  My 29-year-old stepdaughter came over for several hours and wanted to talk about the possibility of me having a relationship with someone other than Jeff in the years to come.  She shed many tears and said that it would be hard for her to see me in another relationship, but that she wanted to see me happy and not single the rest of my time here on earth.  I reassured her that I had no intention of getting remarried, but what she really seemed to need to hear is that no matter what, she will always remain as part of my family and we will be bound forever by Jeff.  Such a simple and obvious sentiment to me, but apparently one that needs to be expressed out loud.  I am at the point in my journey where I feel confident that I can get up and put one foot in front of the other every day, am professionally and financially secure, but miss the laughter and shared stories that make a relationship worth while.  I live with 5 other people, yet experience loneliness  every day and struggle with what to do about that.  Jeff was my best friend, mentor, and soulmate and would be a very big act to follow, and I long for the companionship that made my life feel whole.  I truly believe that Jeff and I will be reunited some day and look forward to that day with great anticipation, yet my religious beliefs lead me to think that in the meantime I am still here for a reason and need to live my life to the fullest in order to recognize that purpose.  I know this issue has been debated on DS before, but I guess I'm seekng some fresh perspective.  Where do we, as widows stand?  Should we consider our lives with our spouses as the best we'll ever have and spend the rest of our time expressing our gratitude to God here until we are reunited them? Or are we meant to learn from our current struggles in order to move on to an intervening stage between our life as we knew and loved it and the one we will experience after our time here is done?  I'm guessing the truth is somewhere in between, but after 13 months of grief, I still struggle to make sense of it all.  Why would Jeff be taken at such a young age and what gives me the authority/experience to raise 5 kids on my own?  I mean, any adoption agency worth it's weight would never consider letting a single mom raise 5 kids--not to mention two adopted kids.  I wear myself out trying to be what I think I should strive to be--an accomplished professional, supermom, and advocate of everyone I perceive as being troubled---the consumate "fixer". Yet at the end of the day I long to fall into someone's arms who will offer some encouragement and a loving embrace---someone who will be my "fixer" for the parts of me that are broken.  How does one reconcile a lifelong devotion to a spouse with the emotional and physical need for support here after they are gone? I know there are others facing the same struggles, but it is tough to admit that we are flawed and require (or at least sometimes desire) companinonship.  I feel like a complete hypocrite, but was completely spoiled by a 20-year realationship where someone always had my back and was there to pick me up whenever I fell.  Sometimes it seems easier to just focus on my relationship with friends and to let that sustain me in the toughest of times, but at other times that doesn't seem like enough.  God bless all of you who are experiencing the same struggles and I would welcome any words of wisdom from those of you who are farther along in this journey.
CJ