Long time

I haven't been on here for a while I've been trying my best to better myself and improve my situation I've gone from a recluse to a hard working member of society back to being a slightly less socially awkward mess but I find working full time was bumming me out so I left my job and am now only working part time I thought the free time would give me more of a chance to be happy but it's done the opposite I feel lost and hopeless all over again, I tried socialising with a guy I met where I used to work he was a customer and I visited him at his place and I basically just got talked down to and treated like a moron all night and insulted I hated it and it's put me of off trying to socialise again, at the moment I'm struggling to quit drinking and smoking weed which are two things I've had a problem with for a very long time I feel like a failure but I'm going to keep on trying my best to improve as a person