Long Overdue Update
This update is waaay long overdue and for that reason, I would suggest you grab yourself a cup of tea and settle in to read!
Today is February 10, 2014. I am fast approaching the 10-month mark since moving to Naples and I come a long way in that time. The weather is gorgeous and I am truly ENJOYING being in a warm, sunny climate this year -- especially since my former location (Maryland) has been hammered with unusually cold temperatures, snow and ice since just after Thanksgiving.
Some of you already know that in addition to my volunteer work with Brooke's Legacy Animal Rescue (BLAR), I was certified in December to volunteer with the local therapeutic riding program here -- Naples Equestrian Challenge (NEC). I began volunteering one evening a week up there right after the New Year and so far, I enjoy it very much. The organization requested that if possible I donate my time during their Advanced Rider classes which are on Thursday evenings. These young adults have been riding with the program for a very long time; most of them are fairly accomplished at the walk, sitting trot AND rising trot and no longer require Sidewalkers. As a "Leader" my job is to stay at the horse's head (part of the lessons are done on a lead line; the other part is done "off lead") and I am only to give direction to the horse WHEN NECESSARY. NEC has an outstanding group of well-schooled, patient horses and they utilize the very best of the best in these advanced classes. We usually have 4 to 6 participants on Thursday evenings and I have quickly grown very fond of 3 young girls in the class. They are just so cute and want so badly to be able to move up to CANTERING their horses in the arena.
My regular day of volunteering with BLAR is now every Wednesday morning. My job is to go up to the PetCo store to feed, clean and provide human interaction with the cats and kittens we have there for adoption. Over Christmas Day, I had the fun of being able to foster THREE KITTENS for the day and overnight -- and what fun we had! These three were brothers which I nicknamed "Larry, Darryl & Darryl" after the strange and funny characters in the old Bob Newhart Show. Larry was a little Woody look-alike; his brothers (the Darryls) were ringers for my Jake -- and as full of beans as kittens can be.
I also had an old friend visiting from Chicago from Christmas Eve until January 2, so the kittens provided some extra special entertainment for her, as well. She is an animal lover but hasn't had a pet of her own since childhood. Jake & Woody also seemed amused and enchanted by these three energetic visitors and NONE OF THEM so much as took a cat nap the entire day! But when 8:00 p.m. rolled around, I corraled the kittens and put them in a large mesh cage which I borrowed from my neighbor. It was large enough to accomodate a small litter box and a soft towel for the kittens to curl up on. Then I put a bedsheet over the cage and turned off the bedroom light. Didn't hear so much as a peep out of them until the next morning! They must have been exhausted -- and Jake & Woody slept on the floor beside it most of the night. I gotta say it was one of the MOST FUN Christmases I have ever had!
On January 7, I got some upsetting news about Woody cat. Over the previous few weeks, he had developed a near obsession with WATER -- jumping up on the kitchen sink if I was washing dishes; insisting that I turn the bathroom faucet on every time I went near there DESPITE having an automatic watering fountain (my Christmas gift to the cats) that was full all the time. He had also lost some weight despite eating normally and he seemed restless a lot of the time. On the recommendation of my neighbor, Sue, I made an appointment at the Cat Care Clinic of Naples and took him in to see Dr. Jeanette Sisco. Well, the BAD news is that Woody has Feline Diabetes. His glucose was way WAY over the normal limits and I burst into tears. Dr. Sisco assured me that diabetes is NOT a death sentence for an otherwise healthy cat and since all his other bloodwork was good, she felt as if I had caught it in the very early stages. So, an immediate change of diet was ordered and we made an appointment for Woody to go back for another glucose test in three weeks. Dr. Sisco said that 90% of otherwise healthy cats go into REMISSION with just a change of diet, so I felt hopeful. (I also prayed a lot! and am keeping that up!)
Always the picky eater, it took a couple of days to convince him that the (expensive) Rx canned food was quite tasty and that the only dry food he would be eating from then on would be small amounts of the (expensive) Rx stuff. He ALWAYS licks all the gravy off the canned food first, but is now eating it with gusto. I put a small amount of the dry food in his dish in the afternoon for snacking (Woody has always been a snacker) and before I go to bed at night. At the same time, Jake is no longer able to eat whenever he wants to because Woody can't have ANY of the regular dry cat food anymore. I keep Woody's food dish up on one of the counters in the kitchen (Jake is so fat, he can't jump up there) and Jake gets fed on the floor ONLY under careful supervision.
Took Woody for his 2nd glucose test on January 27 and was very encouraged with the results. After just 3 weeks on the new food, his glucose was within 20 points of normal and Dr. Sisco said there is always a small percentage of "white coat stress" that factors in. (Woody DOES NOT like to go in the car, and especially WITHOUT his brother.) Woody also gained 3/4 lb. in 3 weeks, so I was feeling a whole lot better. Dr. Sisco and I slapped a HIGH FIVE to these positive results and she said to just keep him on the diet and we'll check him again in another 3 weeks. At this juncture, I decided to take Jake in for a check-up and glucose test just to make sure that he wasn't diabetic even though he wasn't exhibiting any classic symptoms. He HAS, however, gotten as round as a butterball since the move down here and that is NOT HEALTHY. In the 3 weeks since Woody's diagnosis I KNEW (just by looking at him) that Jake had lost some tonnage, but he still tipped the scales at 17 POUNDS -- that's 2 pounds MORE than his ideal weight. So it's diet and more exercise for Jake -- same as with humans, I suppose. Two pounds doesn't sound like much, but Dr. Sisco said a cat losing 2 lb. is the equivalent of a human losing 20. It takes time and effort to get it off. Jake isn't real happy about all this, but he's pestering me less this week -- a good sign.
On other fronts...I think Tom FINALLY got the message that I don't want to hear from him anymore. I tried on more than one occasion to tell him that talking to him was only getting in the way of my healing, but the man is apparently hopelessly dense. After getting a particularly snide letter from him in early November (in which he let me know that he had just returned from a 10-day trip to Florida and had even been up in Punta Gorda for a few days) I sat down and wrote a single page to him which, in a nutshell, said "Had you asked to come see me while you were in Florida, my answer would have been NO."
"While I originally thought that 6 months might be a good interval at which to revisit the state of our relationship, I am now keeping with my therapist's original recommendation of 9 months to a year. And by then, I may no longer be interested in trying to be "just friends" with you. Time will tell."
"Further, I don't feel that it's necessary or appropriate to divulge the details of my new life to you. Since I have never been big on "small talk," unless you have extremely urgent or earth-shattering news to share, I would ask that you NOT CALL ME. I trust that you will respect my boundary in this regard."
In truth, this was as close to the ultimate "Go away and leave me alone" letter as I could come up with. But even THEN he persisted by putting another letter in the Christmas card he sent. It contained more of the same b.s. weird-o speaking of "Tom" in the third person that he has insisted on using since the day I left Maryland. Gives me the willies -- and my therapist said this is a tactic people use when they clearly DO NOT want to take responsibility for their actions. Need I say more?
So I can further attest to the value of going NO CONTACT when a breakup occurs. I have NOT spoken to Tom on the phone since September; refused to take his calls and/or return phone messages since then. His mother and sister keep in touch with me, but we do not discuss anything about the failed relationship. It's sooo much better this way. Out of Sight - Out of Mind.
Now for news on the Dating Scene...
Every Monday evening I go down to this friendly little neighborhood place called The English Pub to socialize and play BINGO. It's pretty low-stakes and they only play a total of 6 games (the last one is Fill The Card) between 7 and 9 p.m. Anyway, a month ago, the folks I usually sit with weren't there so I saw an empty seat at the bar and asked a fellow (who I had seen there the previous week) if he minded if I sat next to him. He said, "It would be my pleasure" and pulled the seat out for me to join him. Between games, we chatted and gave each other a brief synopsis of who we are and where we came from. "Bob" is originally from New Jersey; moved to Naples after graduating from college and taught middle school English in the public school system here for 40 years. He retired 2 years ago and will turn 64 this coming July. He was married for 17 years and has one grown son and one grandson. Following divorce, he had a 12-year relationship with someone, but that ended 3 years ago. I immediately liked this guy and I was attracted to him the first time I saw him -- definitely my "type" -- not real tall, slim build. He wears his graying hair in a shortish ponytail, has MESMERIZING green eyes and has a very soft full beard and mustache. What is it about FACIAL HAIR on a man? I have never given a clean-shaven man so much as a second look!
Anyway, we have been out a couple of times since then and YESTERDAY I took my maiden voyage on the back of one of his motorcycles. It has been DECADES since I did that, but hadn't forgotten how. Lucky for me, the extra helmet he brought along fit me fine, but if I'm going to do that on a regular basis, I want one with a built-in windshield. But that's thinking way, way ahead. He took us on a "round the block" tour -- probably 10 miles total -- and were only on a "high speed" stretch for a short time. Most every road in and around Naples has the same 45 mph speed limit and that was comfortable for me. When we got back here to my house I said, "I liked it! But if I was going to go on a long trip, I think I need my own motorcycle."
I invited him in to visit and we sat and talked about everything and nothing for about an hour and a half. Then it was going to dark and Bob had about a 30-minute ride to get home, so we said see ya later and made a date for Bingo this evening. (BTW THIS TIME, we shared TWO KISSES instead of just one and I gotta admit, it was pretty nice.) Rest assured, however, that this Cowgirl is taking her sweet old time. I want to get to know this guy a lot better before sex even enters the equation.
I am also still in conversation with one of my eHarmony matches, Steve, from southern Ohio. He is coming down to his Dad's place in Davenport, FL in the next couple of weeks and we are planning to get together. Over the past couple of months we have talked about EVERYTHING from soup to nuts and in between. He has said time and time again that he also feels he is meant to be in a relationship, but before now hasn't really had the "tools" to discern if a potential partner has what it takes to be a healthy match. So we will see...
All in all, I'm doing well. Of course I still have moments of doubt and days when I feel so out of my element -- I have come to realize that being the First Lady of Smallville for 25 years was a HUGE part of my identity. So this is also a process of rediscovering who I really am and what I want to do with the rest of my life. That in itself is a process...perhaps one that never ends.
Thanks to all of you who have kept in touch via Private Messages and regular emails. I sure appreciate your love and support!
Today is February 10, 2014. I am fast approaching the 10-month mark since moving to Naples and I come a long way in that time. The weather is gorgeous and I am truly ENJOYING being in a warm, sunny climate this year -- especially since my former location (Maryland) has been hammered with unusually cold temperatures, snow and ice since just after Thanksgiving.
Some of you already know that in addition to my volunteer work with Brooke's Legacy Animal Rescue (BLAR), I was certified in December to volunteer with the local therapeutic riding program here -- Naples Equestrian Challenge (NEC). I began volunteering one evening a week up there right after the New Year and so far, I enjoy it very much. The organization requested that if possible I donate my time during their Advanced Rider classes which are on Thursday evenings. These young adults have been riding with the program for a very long time; most of them are fairly accomplished at the walk, sitting trot AND rising trot and no longer require Sidewalkers. As a "Leader" my job is to stay at the horse's head (part of the lessons are done on a lead line; the other part is done "off lead") and I am only to give direction to the horse WHEN NECESSARY. NEC has an outstanding group of well-schooled, patient horses and they utilize the very best of the best in these advanced classes. We usually have 4 to 6 participants on Thursday evenings and I have quickly grown very fond of 3 young girls in the class. They are just so cute and want so badly to be able to move up to CANTERING their horses in the arena.
My regular day of volunteering with BLAR is now every Wednesday morning. My job is to go up to the PetCo store to feed, clean and provide human interaction with the cats and kittens we have there for adoption. Over Christmas Day, I had the fun of being able to foster THREE KITTENS for the day and overnight -- and what fun we had! These three were brothers which I nicknamed "Larry, Darryl & Darryl" after the strange and funny characters in the old Bob Newhart Show. Larry was a little Woody look-alike; his brothers (the Darryls) were ringers for my Jake -- and as full of beans as kittens can be.
I also had an old friend visiting from Chicago from Christmas Eve until January 2, so the kittens provided some extra special entertainment for her, as well. She is an animal lover but hasn't had a pet of her own since childhood. Jake & Woody also seemed amused and enchanted by these three energetic visitors and NONE OF THEM so much as took a cat nap the entire day! But when 8:00 p.m. rolled around, I corraled the kittens and put them in a large mesh cage which I borrowed from my neighbor. It was large enough to accomodate a small litter box and a soft towel for the kittens to curl up on. Then I put a bedsheet over the cage and turned off the bedroom light. Didn't hear so much as a peep out of them until the next morning! They must have been exhausted -- and Jake & Woody slept on the floor beside it most of the night. I gotta say it was one of the MOST FUN Christmases I have ever had!
On January 7, I got some upsetting news about Woody cat. Over the previous few weeks, he had developed a near obsession with WATER -- jumping up on the kitchen sink if I was washing dishes; insisting that I turn the bathroom faucet on every time I went near there DESPITE having an automatic watering fountain (my Christmas gift to the cats) that was full all the time. He had also lost some weight despite eating normally and he seemed restless a lot of the time. On the recommendation of my neighbor, Sue, I made an appointment at the Cat Care Clinic of Naples and took him in to see Dr. Jeanette Sisco. Well, the BAD news is that Woody has Feline Diabetes. His glucose was way WAY over the normal limits and I burst into tears. Dr. Sisco assured me that diabetes is NOT a death sentence for an otherwise healthy cat and since all his other bloodwork was good, she felt as if I had caught it in the very early stages. So, an immediate change of diet was ordered and we made an appointment for Woody to go back for another glucose test in three weeks. Dr. Sisco said that 90% of otherwise healthy cats go into REMISSION with just a change of diet, so I felt hopeful. (I also prayed a lot! and am keeping that up!)
Always the picky eater, it took a couple of days to convince him that the (expensive) Rx canned food was quite tasty and that the only dry food he would be eating from then on would be small amounts of the (expensive) Rx stuff. He ALWAYS licks all the gravy off the canned food first, but is now eating it with gusto. I put a small amount of the dry food in his dish in the afternoon for snacking (Woody has always been a snacker) and before I go to bed at night. At the same time, Jake is no longer able to eat whenever he wants to because Woody can't have ANY of the regular dry cat food anymore. I keep Woody's food dish up on one of the counters in the kitchen (Jake is so fat, he can't jump up there) and Jake gets fed on the floor ONLY under careful supervision.
Took Woody for his 2nd glucose test on January 27 and was very encouraged with the results. After just 3 weeks on the new food, his glucose was within 20 points of normal and Dr. Sisco said there is always a small percentage of "white coat stress" that factors in. (Woody DOES NOT like to go in the car, and especially WITHOUT his brother.) Woody also gained 3/4 lb. in 3 weeks, so I was feeling a whole lot better. Dr. Sisco and I slapped a HIGH FIVE to these positive results and she said to just keep him on the diet and we'll check him again in another 3 weeks. At this juncture, I decided to take Jake in for a check-up and glucose test just to make sure that he wasn't diabetic even though he wasn't exhibiting any classic symptoms. He HAS, however, gotten as round as a butterball since the move down here and that is NOT HEALTHY. In the 3 weeks since Woody's diagnosis I KNEW (just by looking at him) that Jake had lost some tonnage, but he still tipped the scales at 17 POUNDS -- that's 2 pounds MORE than his ideal weight. So it's diet and more exercise for Jake -- same as with humans, I suppose. Two pounds doesn't sound like much, but Dr. Sisco said a cat losing 2 lb. is the equivalent of a human losing 20. It takes time and effort to get it off. Jake isn't real happy about all this, but he's pestering me less this week -- a good sign.
On other fronts...I think Tom FINALLY got the message that I don't want to hear from him anymore. I tried on more than one occasion to tell him that talking to him was only getting in the way of my healing, but the man is apparently hopelessly dense. After getting a particularly snide letter from him in early November (in which he let me know that he had just returned from a 10-day trip to Florida and had even been up in Punta Gorda for a few days) I sat down and wrote a single page to him which, in a nutshell, said "Had you asked to come see me while you were in Florida, my answer would have been NO."
"While I originally thought that 6 months might be a good interval at which to revisit the state of our relationship, I am now keeping with my therapist's original recommendation of 9 months to a year. And by then, I may no longer be interested in trying to be "just friends" with you. Time will tell."
"Further, I don't feel that it's necessary or appropriate to divulge the details of my new life to you. Since I have never been big on "small talk," unless you have extremely urgent or earth-shattering news to share, I would ask that you NOT CALL ME. I trust that you will respect my boundary in this regard."
In truth, this was as close to the ultimate "Go away and leave me alone" letter as I could come up with. But even THEN he persisted by putting another letter in the Christmas card he sent. It contained more of the same b.s. weird-o speaking of "Tom" in the third person that he has insisted on using since the day I left Maryland. Gives me the willies -- and my therapist said this is a tactic people use when they clearly DO NOT want to take responsibility for their actions. Need I say more?
So I can further attest to the value of going NO CONTACT when a breakup occurs. I have NOT spoken to Tom on the phone since September; refused to take his calls and/or return phone messages since then. His mother and sister keep in touch with me, but we do not discuss anything about the failed relationship. It's sooo much better this way. Out of Sight - Out of Mind.
Now for news on the Dating Scene...
Every Monday evening I go down to this friendly little neighborhood place called The English Pub to socialize and play BINGO. It's pretty low-stakes and they only play a total of 6 games (the last one is Fill The Card) between 7 and 9 p.m. Anyway, a month ago, the folks I usually sit with weren't there so I saw an empty seat at the bar and asked a fellow (who I had seen there the previous week) if he minded if I sat next to him. He said, "It would be my pleasure" and pulled the seat out for me to join him. Between games, we chatted and gave each other a brief synopsis of who we are and where we came from. "Bob" is originally from New Jersey; moved to Naples after graduating from college and taught middle school English in the public school system here for 40 years. He retired 2 years ago and will turn 64 this coming July. He was married for 17 years and has one grown son and one grandson. Following divorce, he had a 12-year relationship with someone, but that ended 3 years ago. I immediately liked this guy and I was attracted to him the first time I saw him -- definitely my "type" -- not real tall, slim build. He wears his graying hair in a shortish ponytail, has MESMERIZING green eyes and has a very soft full beard and mustache. What is it about FACIAL HAIR on a man? I have never given a clean-shaven man so much as a second look!
Anyway, we have been out a couple of times since then and YESTERDAY I took my maiden voyage on the back of one of his motorcycles. It has been DECADES since I did that, but hadn't forgotten how. Lucky for me, the extra helmet he brought along fit me fine, but if I'm going to do that on a regular basis, I want one with a built-in windshield. But that's thinking way, way ahead. He took us on a "round the block" tour -- probably 10 miles total -- and were only on a "high speed" stretch for a short time. Most every road in and around Naples has the same 45 mph speed limit and that was comfortable for me. When we got back here to my house I said, "I liked it! But if I was going to go on a long trip, I think I need my own motorcycle."
I invited him in to visit and we sat and talked about everything and nothing for about an hour and a half. Then it was going to dark and Bob had about a 30-minute ride to get home, so we said see ya later and made a date for Bingo this evening. (BTW THIS TIME, we shared TWO KISSES instead of just one and I gotta admit, it was pretty nice.) Rest assured, however, that this Cowgirl is taking her sweet old time. I want to get to know this guy a lot better before sex even enters the equation.
I am also still in conversation with one of my eHarmony matches, Steve, from southern Ohio. He is coming down to his Dad's place in Davenport, FL in the next couple of weeks and we are planning to get together. Over the past couple of months we have talked about EVERYTHING from soup to nuts and in between. He has said time and time again that he also feels he is meant to be in a relationship, but before now hasn't really had the "tools" to discern if a potential partner has what it takes to be a healthy match. So we will see...
All in all, I'm doing well. Of course I still have moments of doubt and days when I feel so out of my element -- I have come to realize that being the First Lady of Smallville for 25 years was a HUGE part of my identity. So this is also a process of rediscovering who I really am and what I want to do with the rest of my life. That in itself is a process...perhaps one that never ends.
Thanks to all of you who have kept in touch via Private Messages and regular emails. I sure appreciate your love and support!
Replies
Super journal - loving your new life is good - I have a bracelet that I bought that says - \"Be grateful for what you have and and mindful of what you can become.\" You are still growing, former First Lady of Smallville. Much still left to do! xxoo Two kisses! Whhoooo hoooo!
WOW, I cant believe it\'s been 10 months already. You sound great. I admit I was on the edge of my seat when you talked about Woody. I\'m glad his diabetes is under control and thank goodness he eats his special food. I can\'t stand it when a pet has to have special food they won\'t eat. LOL
I second you on the no contact.
RE: new guy *grinning ear to ear* I don\'t think you need any advice from me on men. I will say in regards to a helmet purchase...definitely go full face. They have way more protection should you be in an accident. People have been thrown forward and slide on the face. I always had a full face and my stubborn EX wore a shorty. It was basically just to get by with the law because they were required.
Again, you sound amazing!
I FORGOT to mention in the text above to check out the three new photos I posted today. They are just too cute for words! xoxox
Hi Kathi,
I\'m glad you are doing well.it sounds like Naples is treating you right. You are doing volunteering with the kitties and horses and young people. It\'s just what I see myself doing down the road.
I\'m glad Woody is going to be okay. Our kitties are like regular members of our families. He will be used to his new diet and gaining more weight before you know it.
Good for you with the dating. Dating and talking to two guys. Riding on motorcycles too.Way to go!
The foster kitties are cuties!
:) Maggie
Love the update. Sounds like things are going great for you in sunny Florida. The story of the kittens is so funny and I\'m glad Woody is doing better. Guess you better buy a treadmill for Jake.
Sending hugs!
This is a great journal. Thank you for sharing.
My parents are in their RV in Ft. Piece but they were visiting friends they have met on one of their RV journeys, in Naples over the weekend, LOL
It certainly sounds like you need NO contact with Tom. You are doing Awesome.
Glad t hear the feline diabetes is manageable with the diet. My poor cat\'s diabetes was considered manageable too.. as long as I spent $1000 every month on the testing and the insulin. .
God Bless, Nancy
I am glad you are happy and busy and seem to be loving life. Nice you have met great guys too. Perfect!
You are settling into your new life and having fun too. Dating and volunteering to stay busy. You are making a good life for yourself.
Don\'t worry about Woody the cat having diabetes! My Sneaks had it for 8 of his 14 years and required shots twice a day, and his test to make sure it was regulated only was scheduled once every 3 months after his sugar was under control. He led a normal healthy life. He would come looking for the shots because he knew it made him feel better. I\'m so glad I took the time and expense (about $100 per month for the pet insulin back then) to keep him going. He was an old kitty when he finally passed, and I was there for him at the end. There\'s lots of joy to still be had with a diabetic cat!