Long Hard Road

Seventeen months ago today, at this very time, I received the phone call that rocked my world and forever changed life as I knew it.  Losing a child is something that I always knew that I would never be able to live through, but for whatever reason I am still here.  I existed in sadness and darkness for many months, fearing that I would never have a peaceful feeling again.  Through the love of family, friends and God's guidance in finding this site and the wonderful, loving and encouraging Mother's here, I still have my sanity and continue to move on with my life.  I cannot even begin to tell each one of you how very much your love, hugs and words have meant to me...you are all so very precious!!!  I still struggle.   I still miss Clinton more than is comprehendible.   Some days I still don't think I will be able to walk through the valley of the showdow of death.  I know God must have more for me to do in this life so here I am, striving to do what I know to do which is love and help care for my grandchildren and reach out to other hurting Mother's.  I hope that in some small way I have been able to encourage someone else as I have been encouraged by you all.  I wish we weren't on this road, but what a comfort to have each others hands to hold. When my boys were growing up, we lived in the country.  My Dad lived in town so he came out to our house and we had a fairly large garden.  Clinton loved being outdoors and every step my Dad took, Clinton was right there behind him.  He was in the garden with Dad when he was planting carrots one day.  I think Clinton must have been about 4 years old.  My Dad always put a stake at the end of the row he planted and put the empty seed packet on it.  Clinton ran up to Dad and said, "Oh thank you pappaw for planting hot dogs for us!!!"  Dad and Clinton are together now and we are still laughing at that story.