Long Day Today
So today I woke up at 6am to go to the doctor. I was stressed out, first because I was fasting and hungry and couldn't eat until my blood work was done, and second because I got there late. I checked the bus schedules last night and I chose the one that would get me there on time with time to spare. Well, there was traffic, and my first bus missed my connecting bus and so I had to wait a half hour for the next one. I was only a bit late, so they still saw me, but it stressed me out sitting in traffic knowing I was going to miss my bus and not being able to do anything about it. I don't think it would have been any better if I was in a car, since I wouldn't have been able to control the traffic. Then again, if I had a car, I would have just taken the highway straight there (the highway runs from a block away from me straight to my doctor's office) and skipped the streets. I think part of it was that school was going in, and they had the speed limit reduced in a lot of areas for kids to cross the street. I should just be glad that I made my appointment and everything went well. I got a refill on my birth control, which I needed, and I should be able to get it by the end of the month when I get my bills in to Medicaid.
I talked to the guy from the Medicaid office today, and he was telling me what I needed to do to get my share of cost. I need to fax the information to this number, and then they will activate it. I forgot to ask about how it works paying me back for money I've spent, but I'm going to send in all my bills and see what they pay. I also know now what card I have to use (I have a straight Medicaid card and an HMO card) and so I use my gold Medicaid card.
There's this bug on the window. It came in and I already killed it, but it has me all paranoid. I don't know what kind of bug it is, just that it's some sort of beetle. If it was a roach my paranoia would be all the way up, but I'm better with beetles than I am with with roaches. Even though this beetle was really big, too, the size of a roach. I keep looking at it to see if it's moving. My paranoia has been okay lately... just the usual bouts of people watching me and stuff. I keep my webcam taped up so people can't see me, but that doesn't stop the paranoia of being watched. I want to tape over my mic as well just because it's a hole in the top of my laptop that faces me. I know it's silly, but I just have this overwhelming paranoia that I'm being watched all the time. It's just one of the many paranoias that I have.
Mood was okay today... I worked with the fun guy at work, but it was just hard for me to get into the fun spirit. I guess it's because I was so tired. I came home from the doctor's and took a nap for about an hour and a half, and then after work I came home and took another nap. I wish I would have gone to the doctor's on Monday, since then I wouldn't have had to be at work until 2pm, but today I just came in late at 1pm. I was way too tired to make it in at noon. I told my supervisor and she seemed okay with it. I'm still thinking of trying for next Friday to do a whole day just to see how I do. I think with some good coffee I should be better... I had some tea today, but that was it for caffeine. I did drink a lot of tea, but there's something about coffee that makes me feel more awake than tea (even if I drink the same amount of caffeine from both sources). I think it's mental. Either way, I know I can do a full day, I just have to be prepared for it. A day when I'm already stressed out and tired is not a good day to try. I just hope I don't keep coming up with excuses for it. I have my goal set out- Work a full day next Friday. I just hope my mood keeps up and doesn't tank.
Food was good today, kinda. I got my calories in and was in range for everything (for the first time in forever) except for sodium, which is normal. I had some Oreos today and some Chinese food, but I had stir fry with broccoli and shrimp, so it was pretty healthy for Chinese food. No MSG or anything. At least I got some veggies in today. I have half of it left over for lunch tomorrow. Sleep was okay last night... I had to take a bunch of klonopin to get to sleep, but once I was asleep I stayed there for the most part. I got about 8 hours of sleep, which is why I was so tired today. Stress and mood I already talked about, so that's it for tonight!
I talked to the guy from the Medicaid office today, and he was telling me what I needed to do to get my share of cost. I need to fax the information to this number, and then they will activate it. I forgot to ask about how it works paying me back for money I've spent, but I'm going to send in all my bills and see what they pay. I also know now what card I have to use (I have a straight Medicaid card and an HMO card) and so I use my gold Medicaid card.
There's this bug on the window. It came in and I already killed it, but it has me all paranoid. I don't know what kind of bug it is, just that it's some sort of beetle. If it was a roach my paranoia would be all the way up, but I'm better with beetles than I am with with roaches. Even though this beetle was really big, too, the size of a roach. I keep looking at it to see if it's moving. My paranoia has been okay lately... just the usual bouts of people watching me and stuff. I keep my webcam taped up so people can't see me, but that doesn't stop the paranoia of being watched. I want to tape over my mic as well just because it's a hole in the top of my laptop that faces me. I know it's silly, but I just have this overwhelming paranoia that I'm being watched all the time. It's just one of the many paranoias that I have.
Mood was okay today... I worked with the fun guy at work, but it was just hard for me to get into the fun spirit. I guess it's because I was so tired. I came home from the doctor's and took a nap for about an hour and a half, and then after work I came home and took another nap. I wish I would have gone to the doctor's on Monday, since then I wouldn't have had to be at work until 2pm, but today I just came in late at 1pm. I was way too tired to make it in at noon. I told my supervisor and she seemed okay with it. I'm still thinking of trying for next Friday to do a whole day just to see how I do. I think with some good coffee I should be better... I had some tea today, but that was it for caffeine. I did drink a lot of tea, but there's something about coffee that makes me feel more awake than tea (even if I drink the same amount of caffeine from both sources). I think it's mental. Either way, I know I can do a full day, I just have to be prepared for it. A day when I'm already stressed out and tired is not a good day to try. I just hope I don't keep coming up with excuses for it. I have my goal set out- Work a full day next Friday. I just hope my mood keeps up and doesn't tank.
Food was good today, kinda. I got my calories in and was in range for everything (for the first time in forever) except for sodium, which is normal. I had some Oreos today and some Chinese food, but I had stir fry with broccoli and shrimp, so it was pretty healthy for Chinese food. No MSG or anything. At least I got some veggies in today. I have half of it left over for lunch tomorrow. Sleep was okay last night... I had to take a bunch of klonopin to get to sleep, but once I was asleep I stayed there for the most part. I got about 8 hours of sleep, which is why I was so tired today. Stress and mood I already talked about, so that's it for tonight!
Replies