Lonely winter

My husband and I operated an garden center/landscape business for 35 years..........a beautiful, successful family business.   Bill's landscape designs were works of art.  Wherever I go in a thirty mile radius............I see his work.  
He truly brought paradise to life in our own yard and to our customer's yards.   
Our son and I continue to operate the business and our daughter works in the design division.  Winter is difficult because I am mostly alone (no customers and employees around).    I look forward to spring - for the activity.   This business gives me something "to do" for Bill and in his honor and memory.   I am thankful for that.  
But know what?    I just want my Bill.   His arm around me.   His smile.   I don't want to wrap my brain around the fact that he's not coming home.      
I loved being WE.   I hate being only ME.        

Replies

swindy
swindy

I can certainly relate. Things just aren\'t as much fun as they used to be are they? Diane
wanda61
wanda61

I am so sorry for your pain. I still have my husband and I am truly grateful. I looked at the photo you posted of your husband and he was a handsome man. I think that by looking at his designs you still have a small part of some of his creations. I think its wonderful that you are working with your children, that must be some comfort for you. The Bible tells us we have to die to be born again, think what it will be like in heaven to Bill. Viewing all the wonder and creation of God\'s work.

My buttercups are peaking out of the gorund and spring will be here soon. Again we will experience the re-birth of the trees and flowers. Again a promise from God that life continues. God Bless you my friend, Wanda
deleted_user
deleted_user

WE is SO much better than ME. I hate that too. I still tend to say \"our\" business or \"we\" when referring to business decisions. I and me just don\'t feel right. It has been over 10 years since Dan did any carpentry work around our area, but I still pass places occasionally where I can say \"Dan built that shed.\" \"Dan put that porch on.\" or \"Dan remodeled that house.\" So, I know how you feel to see his work around your town.
Hugs,
Angie
deleted_user
deleted_user

I still say \"We\"...because we did raise the kids together and \"we\" did travel here or there together.

Just because he has died doesn\'t mean he never lived.

Looking at what \"We\" did together makes it a little more comfortable to proceed as \"Me\"

(((hugs)))

Carla
janalM
janalM

I still use the we term, don\'t know how long I will continue to use it, I guess until I feel ok using the me term. I would imagin that seeeing his design around is a great source of pride for you. I was thinking of starting some of my vertables this week, to get ready for spring. I love my yard and garden, but after each winter it needs to much work. Who knows, I may show up someday and ask for your help to make another design memory. Hang in, winter is almost over, and then you won\'t have a minutes rest. Hugs Jane
deleted_user
deleted_user

I would take my life back in a minute, I hate being just me too. it was not suppose to be this way....................
deleted_user
deleted_user

I too still use the term \"we\" when talking about certain things. I just can\'t get used to saying \"me\"...just doesn\'t seem natural yet. I guess that one day it will just don\'t know when that will be.

Hugs,
Jean
ciegee
ciegee

I use the term \"we\" also. Just so hard not to after it has been who someone has been. Just wanted to stop by and say hi.
hugs,
Cie
wendywillow
wendywillow

Me too. I say we and will probably continue to do so for a long, long time.
I love that you have a gardening center. I wish I had one. Just love gardening. It\'s too cold up here in Canada, so I only garden in summer (wish I lived in Florida or Hawaii to garden all year \'round!

This is a horrible, painful journey. Sending you hugs and hope this spring will bring a little sunshine back into your life.
icezam19
icezam19

Our garden center is in Pennsylvania so we only garden in summer too. Spring is usually gorgeous but we have had 30 days of clouds and rain...sure miss the sun. Miss everything. Sure miss our life.......you know?!
lovie4ever
lovie4ever

Know exactly how you feel, I don\'t even feel like making myself pretty every day, what\'s the point, I wanted to look good for my husband, just missing everything, like you ... Does anyone out there live in San Diego?