Lonely

i have no one to talk to. So much shit has happened to me and I have no one to really talk to. I have my fiancé but it isn’t fair to him to put it all on him. I’m so close to cutting myself again it’s bad. I can’t hold it in anymore but I have no one to tell. The only people I trust I can’t tell or it will only hurt them so I feel trapped and like my only escape is cutting and I’m trying so hard not to I feel like I just deserve everything that happened to me so I should just cut myself because I’m a horrible person.