llll.....ooooo.....nnn..........gggg day.....

i did drive on over to my mom's today to see about the door being fixed and the new door lock/ dead bolt put on. it took a LOT longer than i thought. I was there for hours. i thought it would be a quick trick.... but it wasn't.

the guy that did it I knew from high school and his daughter / helper went to school with my daughter and i graduated w/ his sister in law.... onandonandon..... small town stuff.

i really really like royce. he was so kind and good to my mom and reassuring and did a wonderful job for her. i was very thankful. hopefully now she will feel more secure and this will be the end of it. 

i think it is either her housekeeper or her housekeeper's husband. he's a creep and they live right next door. but the cops have been called and hopefully it's over. if she does not feel secure any more , we will have to move her.

she said today ... to royce... that from now on her kids are going to come stay every weekend and eventually move in with her... she was joking.... but not really. I said NO THAT IS NOT GOING TO HAPPEN.... I was NOT joking.  

She is still sick from the UTI and having to go to the ER this past weekend.... which i didn't know about until monday... but she went to work... she's exhausted though... and we will see... but emotionally she really is brittle and worn. 

if she starts to have a breakdown, i will suggest counseling. she really does need it ... badly. but she won't go. so there's that.... 

but the only way i got her to shut up about not coping with dad passing away... and wanting to just act horrible all the time and use it as an excuse for her bad behavior... when I kept saying very nicely " you might need counseling... you might need to consider going to see one...." she finally stopped the bad behavior. 

i feel very badly for her. but i've tried all my life to be her savior to some degree.... all of us have .... it was a family project... and i'm just worn out from it.... but i called my sponsor today on the way over for a reasoning voice and she helped me ... bc i did not want to go over there mad.... that does not help. i did not want to inflame the situation. i just want her to feel safe and secure. and that is going to be hard. she hasn't felt safe since daddy died. and i can understand. they were married fifty years. and he was her security....

but i don't want that job really. it's too hard. and it's a bottomless pit. .... 

well... to take care of myself... yoga / zen meditation music / and then some sleep. classes tomorrow... yay!!! 

night