Living with pain

How do I live without every time someone touches freezing or Everytime I lay down I think of what you are doing to me how do I stop you from hurting me how do I live with my worthlessness? Why do I feel dirty, disgusting,rotten,good for nothing? Why are you doing this to me you are my brother you aren't supposed to make me feel powerless,weak, worthless why me? Why did you pick me to touch,hurt?