Living vs. Existing

Thursday, June 18, 2009 – 10:30 A.M. I started the week feeling super good on Monday, but have been depressed since then. There are too many things swirling around in my already cluttered mind, and not all of them are good.   My life seems to be without any purpose or meaning. What is the purpose of struggling for nothing?   I don’t have any offline friends, and that is hurting me. So, too, is the fact that I don’t know how to have fun. In nice weather, such as we are having now, I am able to get out and go places, but I do not even know where to go. I’m a real mess!   With the exceptions of going to appointments, or to see my family, I have practically turned into a modern-day hermit. I am actually afraid to go anywhere alone.     I don’t like living like this – if you can call it living. I would say it’s more like just existing.