Living in the now.

I haven't written in at least a month or maybe longer.  I just looked, but can't recall when my last entry was.  I am continuing to focus on being positive.  It hasn't been easy these past few weeks.  On top of all the other complications, I pulled a muscle in my back.  The pain was ridiculous.  Only behind the worse migraine I have ever had.  It hurt worse than an abscessed tooth.  In any case, it is the pain that makes you feel nuts.  Lack of proper sleep isn't helpful either.  Today I feel ok.  Yesterday ok.  But last night I was so tired.  I hate being tired.  Today I have trouble moving my left leg.  I am slow.  I hate slow sometimes.
And at the same time I am working to remain focused on the now.  I heard something good the other day.  It had nothing to do with what I go through, but it fit perfectly.  It is a thought to hang onto.  I often catch myself beginning to worry about what the future holds and what changes my body will see.  Worry really gets you nowhere.  It just stresses me out and makes things worse.  How I deal with each situation Now is the only thing I can control.   I can't make this disease go away.  I can't go back to the life I once lived.  I can choose how I am going to deal with life now, right at this minute.  I choose not to let the difficulty of the moment steal my joy.  Tomorrow may be different.