Living in fear
My ED has accused me of a very disturbing action as of 3 years ago . Something that could put me in prison .
I live in fear . I have nightmares , I wake up crying .
She is 32 , has several mental disorders , SAD , depression , and anxiety .
She used to dream of dead bodies all over the highways , children hanging out of buses all bloody . She couldn't sit in a bathtub of water and watch the water drain out for fear of the tub sucking her down the drain , she couldn't watch windshield wipers , she would have a screaming fit and climb out of her seat . She couldn't be in the same room as a flushing toilet , she would have a screaming fit . What she dreams she believes . She will fight you till the death in believing that Zombies do exist and will take over the world . Her Father was a conspiracy theorist . She carries a gun everywhere she goes ( I fear for her life ) She is abusive verbally to everyone in her life , her children and her husband and his family . But because she gave them children they tolerate and enable her .
I live 5 states away from her though , her choice . I have to keep my distance for fear of her using her " dreams " against me .
She has accused everyone one of her family of sexual abuse . To hear her tell it , her brothers and step brothers ( 5 ) molested her , and the allegations against me are even worse . her oldest Bio Brother was in prison at the time she said he molested her on hot check charges . She accused her Father after 19 yrs went by of raping her . When she was reminded that her virginity was lost to one of her brothers friends she was dating , she said she lied about losing her virginity or her hymen grew back .
Tonight I told my ex husbands wife of the accusations after carrying the burden 3 years , She has not told anyone so she says about the abuse but me . The burden was to much . her father was allowed to see the grandchildren , she protected him when he went thru his triple by-pass , his son told me he was in the hospital and when I called the hospital she cussed me saying I would kill him with a phone call , when all I wanted to do was say that I had him on our prayer list at Church .
I am sick of living in fear of her accusations . There is not a day goes by that I worry over her " new memories " during her dreams .
Sometimes I want to lie down in my bed and not wake up . The fear gets so real for me at times I want to just take an entire bottle of pills and go to sleep ....
I'm living in fear of my ED's memories , which are false .
I live in fear . I have nightmares , I wake up crying .
She is 32 , has several mental disorders , SAD , depression , and anxiety .
She used to dream of dead bodies all over the highways , children hanging out of buses all bloody . She couldn't sit in a bathtub of water and watch the water drain out for fear of the tub sucking her down the drain , she couldn't watch windshield wipers , she would have a screaming fit and climb out of her seat . She couldn't be in the same room as a flushing toilet , she would have a screaming fit . What she dreams she believes . She will fight you till the death in believing that Zombies do exist and will take over the world . Her Father was a conspiracy theorist . She carries a gun everywhere she goes ( I fear for her life ) She is abusive verbally to everyone in her life , her children and her husband and his family . But because she gave them children they tolerate and enable her .
I live 5 states away from her though , her choice . I have to keep my distance for fear of her using her " dreams " against me .
She has accused everyone one of her family of sexual abuse . To hear her tell it , her brothers and step brothers ( 5 ) molested her , and the allegations against me are even worse . her oldest Bio Brother was in prison at the time she said he molested her on hot check charges . She accused her Father after 19 yrs went by of raping her . When she was reminded that her virginity was lost to one of her brothers friends she was dating , she said she lied about losing her virginity or her hymen grew back .
Tonight I told my ex husbands wife of the accusations after carrying the burden 3 years , She has not told anyone so she says about the abuse but me . The burden was to much . her father was allowed to see the grandchildren , she protected him when he went thru his triple by-pass , his son told me he was in the hospital and when I called the hospital she cussed me saying I would kill him with a phone call , when all I wanted to do was say that I had him on our prayer list at Church .
I am sick of living in fear of her accusations . There is not a day goes by that I worry over her " new memories " during her dreams .
Sometimes I want to lie down in my bed and not wake up . The fear gets so real for me at times I want to just take an entire bottle of pills and go to sleep ....
I'm living in fear of my ED's memories , which are false .
Replies
Oh I so feel for you, these so called repressed memories hmmmm...so far my daughter hasn\'t pulled that one on me but she did file a false domestic violence complaint on me, never been served or anything but it did what it was supposed to do- scared me to death......or darn near. Try not to live in fear, it is no way to live, continue one, one day at a time, let go......and don\'t even think about taking the pills - you have a purpose here in this world (we all do) and we will make it through this together, you are not alone.