little things have big meanings... crying again...

All of his things are exactly where he left them. His desk chair slightly pulled out with a white towel draped over the back. His weight bench still in the box that he said he'd put together. He bought it in the winter. Its still in the box. His clothes are neatly in the dresser drawers. The dirty pile in another pile where only his things go. All of his nick knacks neatly organized. Everything is in the same place as it has been since he was taken to jail. Since he was taken away from me. My heart feels like a million broken shards. Every time I come home I see all his things are here. Its a slap in the face. It says HA! He's never coming back! The law has him. You are on your own. I put a picture on my cell phone so I can see his face every day. I don't know if it is bringing me more heartache or less. I miss kissing him in the morning and at night. I still think of him when I fall asleep and he is the first thought when I wake up. I've been borrowing his red blanket at night because it smells like him. I take his hair rags to work with me because they smell like him and remind me of him. I am hurting so bad. I can't stop the tears. I can't stop the misery.. All of his things have memories attached to them. I cannot bear the thought that he is in jail while I'm out here waiting for him. I want to free him from that horrid place. I cannot though. I don't make the money it would take to get him out. He is my everything and I'd sell the moon and the stars if it were in my power to free him from his chains. Feeling so sad tonight. Crying is again my only company.