little info
Hi I'm Lisa, mother to Tyler and Brandon. Tyler is 23 and Brandon 20. Tyler was in a car accident on July 5, 1995. He was paralyzed from the waist down. It took me years and years to cope and deal with that, but we were fortunate to have him. then on July 13, 2014 my youngest son Brandon was involved in a car accident, and did not survive. I cannot even begin to explain how this feels. only thing I can say is it's like walking around in a fog of numbness.
Today was one of those very difficult days. I had to leave work early, I found a parking lot..........and sat and cried for an hour. Just the very mention of his name turned the faucet on. yesterday was much of the same. today is day 37 without Brandon. I miss him so very much. I've written journal entries on my computer, but somehow this seems different. maybe just to know that it's 'normal' .......whatever normal is anymore.
Today was one of those very difficult days. I had to leave work early, I found a parking lot..........and sat and cried for an hour. Just the very mention of his name turned the faucet on. yesterday was much of the same. today is day 37 without Brandon. I miss him so very much. I've written journal entries on my computer, but somehow this seems different. maybe just to know that it's 'normal' .......whatever normal is anymore.
Replies
Hi Lisa ~ I am so very sorry to hear that you lost your son Brandon recently. You have been through so much since Tyler\'s accident years ago. More than any mother should have to go through. You have come to a place here at For Mom\'s Only where we truly understand that loss. I lost both of my sons in the Spring of 2008, just one month apart. Feel free to read my journals & look at my photos to get to know my sons, Jeremy & Chad a bit.
It wasn\'t until about 5 years later that I found this wonderful support group. I really believe I have received more comfort & support here than in the previous 5 yrs. These moms \"get it\". We are here to receive support & when & if we are able, we give it also.
Writing journals here is different....you can mark your journals as private or you may share them with us, whatever you feel comfortable doing. We provide encouragement & loving concern with comments & hugs to let you know we care. It helped me so much to know what I was feeling is normal for a grieving mother. I think it will help you too.
Hugs of compassion.....Vicki (Jeremy & Chad\'s mom )
Yes...it is so normal. Your loss is so recent and that pain so very raw. It only takes a second for me to remember and FEEL that pain when I first lost Alex. It has been more than seven years now...how can that be possible. And that pain was like no other. I can remember going to work and not sure what I did all day...and then getting in the car to go home...and simply exploding into tears. This a long road...and is so very hard...but somehow we survive...even though sometimes we wish we wouldn\'t. Take each moment as it comes and try to cut back on your own expectations for yourself. Grieving takes so much energy. I am so very glad that you have written....gentle care new friend. Karen
I am so sorry to hear of the tragic loss of your son, Brandon. I lost my 19 year old son, Daren in 2006. His passing left a giant hole in my families heart. I try to fill the gaping hole with kindness towards others and making his loss have meaning. I think that is what all mothers/parents do...we want to share a memory of our child, be able to share something about them, be told something that perhaps we did not know about them...it helps them live in our hearts and I feel his spirit close during those times. I wanted to let you know that it is ok to grieve...let yourself feel the pain, sadness or whatever you feel at any given moment...better to set sail through the grief and not skirt around it...your journey through this will be rough, and your journey--we all have our moments....there is not a day that goes by after 8 years (in Sept) that I do not think of something that I want to share with him...gentle care my new friend
AnnM, mother of Daren
I\'m so sorry.
My Kala left earth life due to a car accident too. It was such a HUGE shock to my entire being. I too walked around in a daze for a long time.
I\'m also very sorry for the injuries your son Tyler sustained. It must have been, and continue to be, so hard for him and for all of you.
Writing has really helped me a lot over these past 7 years. Not sure how I could have survived without the amazing women of FMO!
Scream, cry, curse, break dishes, punch pillows....anything YOU need to do that helps you release the pain even a little bit, is \"normal\" and OK....so long as you are not harming yourself. I found screaming in the shower to be very helpful. I could scream the sounds that couldn\'t form words...the sounds of my very soul crying out in pain.
Breathe in, breathe out....
We are here to listen. We truly, deeply care.
Thank you all so much for the heartwarming welcome........... I feel comfort in all of your words, knowing I\'m not the only one going through this living hell. I know things will get easier with time. I\'m so grateful that I found this place.
I am so sorry for the loss of your son, Brandon.
My daughter went to her heavenly home 11/26/2013 so even though I am new to this journey, I just wanted you to know, I understand the gut wrenching sobs, the range of emotions that we feel.
These moms on this site are amazing and will get you through those moments that you can\'t breathe. I am so grateful I found this site and I\'m so glad you are here too!
Praying for strength to take care of Tyler and comfort for your heart feeling the loss of Brandon. ((hugs)) Vicki
The fog and the numbness is what is needed as is it takes time for the heart and mind to connect the enormity of the loss.
The heart language of grief, loss and one day finding hope in the midst is spoken here each and every day and that is the beauty and power of the healing that is here. You are among women who are not experts, yet walk with you and allow you to just BE however you need to BE.
Easy does it daily and don\'t have unrealistic expectations for yourself that you \"should\" be any other way than you are. Where you find yourself daily is where you need to be and your grief is so very raw and new.
Together we will keep walking and remembering Brandon and Douglas...
Heartfelt (((hugs)))
XO Joanie
I\'m so sorry for the loss of your Brandon. My son Doug was in a fatal car accident in April, 2009 at the age of 22. Devastating. Besides FMO I also found writing in a personal journal to Doug, like I was writing letters to him, very helpful. We are at first in a fog because we are physically and mentally in shock, our whole body chemistry changes. At this point don\'t expect too much of yourself, and don\'t let anyone \"should you\" into everything. Love, Sue xo
I am so sorry that you have had to join our group. The moms here are amazing. They have encouraged me and have walked me through my darkest times.
My son Michael left his earthly suit September 2011. He was an addict for a very short time and had his first overdose and did not survive it. I also walked for a year in a fog. Numbed to everything around me.
We have all gone through or are going through those first years of gut wrenching pain.
Here you will find compassion and love to help you along your journey.
Hugs. Laura
Mom of Michael forever 21.