Listening

On my first day of clinic I met my mentor and he took me down the hallway to where he was sitting with a family that had just lost the father/husband.  So, I sat in the corner (my mentor told me to be like a fly on the wall) and I watched and listened.  Okay, so the first patient I encountered was dead.  Actually, it turned out that the wife was really the patient at that time.
I have been visiting patients.  It was really hard to knock on a door and enter a room not knowing what I would encounter on the other side.
I'm learning to throw out the ego, pride, self-consciousness and try to focus on the person (or people) in the room.
I'm listening better.  I'm listening to everyone better.  I keep reminding myself during my interactions with other people inside and out of the hospital to listen.  What is it that they are really trying to tell me?  What can I offer?  Sometimes the only thing I can give is a little bit of encouragement.
One thing I know is to try to validate people's feelings.  How many times have we tried to explain how we feel and not been believed?
I was sitting in rounds and the nurses/staff were talking about a patient with chronic pain and the doctors couldn't find anything that would be causing the pain.  I appreciated the respect the people in the room had for the patient, but I kept wondering if they believed this woman's pain.  I wanted to visit her but it didn't work out for my schedule that day.
I know the feeling of relief when someone BELIEVES what we tell them about how we feel.
I am tired every day and have thought over and over about not being able to do this, etc.  (Those nasty voices.)  I thought, "How am I going to do this?"  THEN, I thought, "What do I have to help me do this?"  I was able to continue.
One step at a time.