Lil pissed!
Ok today I am kinda pissed! I am kinda mad that everyone from the gynecologist And RE keeps telling me how screwed up my body is. I have been trying to get pregnant since 27 years old! i will be 36 in October. Ever since I have been trying to have a baby I have been hearing this is wrong and that's wrong, so I have always believed that I cant get pregnant. i have believed the well meaning doctors who give me there statistics. I guess I am just tired! I need a miracle! I want a miracle! I want to believe that I can have. A miracle! Might sound far fetched but today I want to believe in miracles! I am blessed to have all my reproductive organs and I want to believe that one day they might all work together magically and create a beautiful and healthy baby. I am out for the count with fertilty treatments! i have paid thousands of dollars and a donor cycle is even more. So my dear friends I am putting myself out ttoday boldly going to God waving my arms up to the heavens saying I need and want a miracle!yes, I want the dream of being with my husband and conceiving a baby. I am going to dare to dream and believe in a miracle. Again, this is how I feel today and you know that in the IF world feelings can change. This is the only way I can cope is to have hope!
Replies
Fingers crosses to a miracle :-)
I\'m praying for your miracle. After you\'ve tried all you can, you just stand and give it to God. I hurt for you. My heart goes out to you.
I am so sorry you are being met with such negativity! I\'ll never understand the medical community.
I\'m sure you\'ve tried this but just in case you haven\'t, I know some herbalists who might be able to offer some advice...
Keep your head up!
Xoxo Nneka
I believe miracles happen everyday from small to big ! Here\'s hoping you get one that\'s about 7 to 8 pounds !
I\'m proud of you for Having hope and faith. I have been losing hope and faith lately and often think I need to really just trust god and pray. Adding you to my prayer list. Xoxo
I just journaled about hope and faith:0) Having hope is ALWAYS a great thing to have and I am believing with you friend. *HUG! I understand your frustration with your body not working the way you want it to. I get angry at my broken body too. I ask God for a normal working body or a miracle in my prayer time too. Hang in there and don\'t lose your hope!
I agree with everyone---there is ALWAYS room for hope. And medical drs. don\'t know everything. They do SUCH a disservice to women when they tell them you\'ll never have a baby, etc.
I have a cousin --- he and his wife tried to conceive for years. They had one miscarriage. And unexplained infertility. So they believed it would never happen and probably eventually didn\'t use birth control as a result. 10 years later...pregnant all on their own..no intervention. They have a beautiful one year old daughter :) He is 40 and she is 38.
I also know someone whose sister had a couple miscarriages in her 20s and was told by drs she\'d never carry a baby to term. She is now 47. She naturally....and much to her surprise and unplanning :)....conceived a child when she was 45. A perfectly healthy boy.
Also, I wanted to comment on the subject of feeling angry at what may feel like your \"broken\" body.
My body has been my enemy most of my life. Namely because of a distorted body image and the unrealistic expectations that society imposes on women!
When I found out I had endometriosis....my body anger kicked in. And when I had miscarriages...my body anger kicked in. And when I go month after month without a positive pregnancy test....my body anger kicks in........
Until recently. Until I realized what a disservice I am doing to myself. I am...for the first time in 40 years....learning to embrace my body and believe in it. And believe that it is doing its absolute best and that (my) berating it......can really only make things worse.
This is all very new for me. But it feels good. And I honestly feel sorry for my body that I have always set the bar so high for it.
I believe our bodies have wisdom. And they know how to make a baby and know how to nourish a baby. And now that I am recognizing this...I am catching myself when I find myself angry at it. And instead nurturing it and reminding myself that I am not broken.
I\'m hoping this can inspire you as well.....as you noted you are \"blessed with all of your reproductive organs\".
I know there are women who believed in their bodies and did all kinds of positive visualization and maybe things still didn\'t go according to plan. There are no guarantees.
But I\'ve decided for myself that there is only harm in doing the opposite.
So I applaud you for continuing your hope and believing that your body can do this.
I went to an Arvigo Technique Maya abdominal massage therapist a couple weeks ago and she taught me abdominal massages I can do on myself at different times of the month.
She also talks about nurturing your body during menstruation. Not lifting heavy things. Not over-doing it. Not over-exercising. And during ovulation. All of these wondrous processes that we take for granted.
I am starting to see the beauty in it and hoping that by taking better care of myself not just physically but also in how I think of my physical self .... maybe I will encourage a miracle.
I think you are exactly right to be pissed. All the Drs always take shots at my body and I want to protect it, it is doing the best it can! Good for you for sticking up for and protecting your body! Doctors dont know everything. They can speculate but they cant say for sure why something works or doesnt. Pregnancy is truly a miracle. Keep following your dream and you will get there!
Praying for your miracle baby xo big hugs!!
I BELIEVE IN MIRACLES!!!!!!! I know that yours is coming soon! and we will all be reading about your little miracle baby!
Sending blessings for a miracle!! XO
Praying for a miracle for you! You deserve this so much xxxxxxxxxx
Miracles do happen I know this first hand.
praying very hard for yours to happen soon.