Lifestyle changes

 I feel so lost, and alone lately. But this is my own fault. I'm icolating, not doing as well a I hoped. I am trying to make a lystyle change. I just found out my diabetes is back, and I might have to go on cholesterol medication. SO I don't know where to start. Im injured so badly I can't stand longer than a minute without back pain. Phisical thearpy starts the twenth. But the pain has been unbaraable. I can't rest, and its horrible
  To top all this off, I don't and cannot find a single psyciatrist in this state that takes Medicaide. I want to do more than survive I want to live and be healthy, but one thing after another seems to prevent that from happening. I am improving my family relations. My sister and I have been acting rather human to each other, which to my surprise has been a needed blessing. Only good thing right now that I have in my life is that I started painting again. I've given it up lost interest in all hobbies. But I must find a psyc doc and I am under social security recview and everything is NOT dotted on the bottom line, and I am one paycheck away from being homeless. I am phisically and mentlally disabled, and only recieving councle ever other week. I been thinking oh Im doing so well I'm so happy but really down inside I hate my life, so I am making positive changes to make the way I want. I am going to get healthy and continue on my fight to not cut and get better. I will do it and I will do it One day at a time. H