LIFE WITH NO CABLES
SO HERE WE ARE WELL IN THE THIRD WEEK WITHOUT CABLES TO OUR CONDO UNIT. THAT MEANS NO CABLE TV AND NO COMPUTER LINES AS THE CABLES THEY ARE REPLACING ARE ALL FIBER OPTIC. SO WHAT DOES ONE DO WITH NO TV AND NO COMPUTER.
I HAVE A SMART PHONE, SO IF I WANTED TO, I COULD SIMPLY CHECK ALL MY E-MAIL AND DO EVERYTHING ON THAT, THAT I DO ON MY COMPUTER. BUT THE NUMBER OF MINUTES I WOULD ADD UP WOULD BE ASTRONOMICAL. SO I AM ACTUALLY HAVING NO TROUBLE WITH THIS AT ALL. DH HOWEVER, IS GOING TOTALLY INSANE.
I HAVE ALWAYS LOVED TO READ. WITH BOTH A KINDLE AND A NOOK, I CAN READ FOREVER AND CAN MAKE THE PRINT ANY SIZE I NEED. IT IS EASY TO CARRY AND I CAN SIT OUTSIDE AND READ OR DO IT INDOORS IF THE BUGS GET TOO BAD. I ALSO LOVE TO DO WORD SEARCH PUZZLES AND PLAY SOLITAIRE. AGAIN I COULD DO THIS ON MY PHONE BUT PREFER NOT TO. GET OUT THOSE OLD CARDS AND DO THAT.
WILL DH PLAY UNO WITH ME? NO! THAT IS FOR CHILDREN! HOW ABOUT A LIVELY HUSBAND/WIFE GAME OF STRIP POKER? "THAT IS OBSCENE". OK - HOW ABOUT WE JUST GO FOR A GOOD OLD FASHIONED WALK? "IT'S TOO HOT/COLD". WANT TO HELP ME IN THE GARDEN? "THEIR YOUR STUPID PLANTS, NOT MINE". (THIS IS GETTING TO BE FUN JUST TO SEE WHAT I CAN SUGGEST THAT HE WILL REFUSE TO DO - HE IS HAVING TOO MUCH FUN COMPLAINING ABOUT BEING WITHOUT A COMPUTER)
MY NEXT MOVE - A GAME FOR HIM. I HAVE PLACED ON THE TABLE, THREE ITEMS. A BOX OF HAMBURGER HELPER, A MEASURING CUP, AND A POUND OF HAMBURGER. ON THE STOVE IS A PAN. I ASK HIM, "CAN YOU THINK OF SOMETHING TO MAKE WITH THESE ITEMS". "WOMAN, YOU HAVE LOST YOUR MIND! YOU KNOW I DON'T DO 'KITCHEN'." ANOTHER GAME. "HERE IS THE BASKET. THIS IS THE LAUNDRY DETERGENT. HERE IS THE WASHING MACHINE. CAN YOU START THIS FOR ME?" I SWEAR THIS ANSWER ALMOST HAD ME IN TEARS I WAS LAUGHING SO HARD. "WHERE IS THE MANUAL? I DON'T KNOW HOW TO WORK THIS THING." THIS MAN WAS SINGLE FOR 57 YEARS. HOW DID HE EVER GET HIS CLOTHS CLEAN OR DID HE WEAR THE SAME ONES SINCE GETTING OUT OF THE ARMY IN HIS EARLY 20'S?
SO I FINALLY AM OUT OF OPTIONS. HE HAS GONE GROCERY SHOPPING WITH ME, TO THE FARM STAND WITH ME, TO THE BEAUTY SHOP (A TERRIBLE EXPERIENCE WITH A GUY ALONG) TO THE LUMBER YARD, AND TO THE CAR DEALER. SO I MAKE ONE LAST STOP - AT THE LOCAL LIBRARY. "WHAT ARE WE STOPPING HERE FOR?" "I HAVE A SURPRISE FOR YOU DEAR." "YOU KNOW I HATE TO READ!" "THIS IS A DIFFERENT SURPRISE". WE WALK IN THE DOOR AND HE SEES THEM - ROW AFTER ROW OF COMPUTERS. I TELL HIM TO CALL ME ON HIS CELL WHEN HE IS DONE AND I WILL PICK HIM UP. THAT WAS AT 10 IN THE MORNING. I DIDN'T GET CALLED UNTIL THE LIBRARY CLOSED AT 9 THAT NIGHT. AND HE EVEN HAS HIS OWN TRUCK! SO HE CAN GO THERE ANY TIME HE WANTS. I JUST WANTED TO SEE WHAT HE WOULD DO WITHOUT A COMPUTER. WAIT UNTIL HE FINDS OUT THAT HE CAN CHECK HIS E-MAIL ON HIS KINDLE FIRE! HE HASN'T EVEN DISCOVERED THAT YET - HE JUST READS HIS BIBLE ON IT. AND YET ANOTHER PLACE - CYBER CAFES - ALL OVER TOWN. HE DOESN'T KNOW ABOUT THOSE EITHER. I AM SAVING THAT FOR WHEN HE CAN'T STAND ALL THE LITTLE KIDS IN THE LIBRARY. (HE IS NOT A FAN OF CHILDREN) OH THE WONDERS OF MODERN TECHNOLOGY! I GUESS MY LIFE MUST BE FAR SIMPLER OR COULD IT BE THAT I STILL HAVE ALL THE CHORES TO DO IN ADDITION TO THE THINGS I'VE LISTED? HMMM .....
I HAVE A SMART PHONE, SO IF I WANTED TO, I COULD SIMPLY CHECK ALL MY E-MAIL AND DO EVERYTHING ON THAT, THAT I DO ON MY COMPUTER. BUT THE NUMBER OF MINUTES I WOULD ADD UP WOULD BE ASTRONOMICAL. SO I AM ACTUALLY HAVING NO TROUBLE WITH THIS AT ALL. DH HOWEVER, IS GOING TOTALLY INSANE.
I HAVE ALWAYS LOVED TO READ. WITH BOTH A KINDLE AND A NOOK, I CAN READ FOREVER AND CAN MAKE THE PRINT ANY SIZE I NEED. IT IS EASY TO CARRY AND I CAN SIT OUTSIDE AND READ OR DO IT INDOORS IF THE BUGS GET TOO BAD. I ALSO LOVE TO DO WORD SEARCH PUZZLES AND PLAY SOLITAIRE. AGAIN I COULD DO THIS ON MY PHONE BUT PREFER NOT TO. GET OUT THOSE OLD CARDS AND DO THAT.
WILL DH PLAY UNO WITH ME? NO! THAT IS FOR CHILDREN! HOW ABOUT A LIVELY HUSBAND/WIFE GAME OF STRIP POKER? "THAT IS OBSCENE". OK - HOW ABOUT WE JUST GO FOR A GOOD OLD FASHIONED WALK? "IT'S TOO HOT/COLD". WANT TO HELP ME IN THE GARDEN? "THEIR YOUR STUPID PLANTS, NOT MINE". (THIS IS GETTING TO BE FUN JUST TO SEE WHAT I CAN SUGGEST THAT HE WILL REFUSE TO DO - HE IS HAVING TOO MUCH FUN COMPLAINING ABOUT BEING WITHOUT A COMPUTER)
MY NEXT MOVE - A GAME FOR HIM. I HAVE PLACED ON THE TABLE, THREE ITEMS. A BOX OF HAMBURGER HELPER, A MEASURING CUP, AND A POUND OF HAMBURGER. ON THE STOVE IS A PAN. I ASK HIM, "CAN YOU THINK OF SOMETHING TO MAKE WITH THESE ITEMS". "WOMAN, YOU HAVE LOST YOUR MIND! YOU KNOW I DON'T DO 'KITCHEN'." ANOTHER GAME. "HERE IS THE BASKET. THIS IS THE LAUNDRY DETERGENT. HERE IS THE WASHING MACHINE. CAN YOU START THIS FOR ME?" I SWEAR THIS ANSWER ALMOST HAD ME IN TEARS I WAS LAUGHING SO HARD. "WHERE IS THE MANUAL? I DON'T KNOW HOW TO WORK THIS THING." THIS MAN WAS SINGLE FOR 57 YEARS. HOW DID HE EVER GET HIS CLOTHS CLEAN OR DID HE WEAR THE SAME ONES SINCE GETTING OUT OF THE ARMY IN HIS EARLY 20'S?
SO I FINALLY AM OUT OF OPTIONS. HE HAS GONE GROCERY SHOPPING WITH ME, TO THE FARM STAND WITH ME, TO THE BEAUTY SHOP (A TERRIBLE EXPERIENCE WITH A GUY ALONG) TO THE LUMBER YARD, AND TO THE CAR DEALER. SO I MAKE ONE LAST STOP - AT THE LOCAL LIBRARY. "WHAT ARE WE STOPPING HERE FOR?" "I HAVE A SURPRISE FOR YOU DEAR." "YOU KNOW I HATE TO READ!" "THIS IS A DIFFERENT SURPRISE". WE WALK IN THE DOOR AND HE SEES THEM - ROW AFTER ROW OF COMPUTERS. I TELL HIM TO CALL ME ON HIS CELL WHEN HE IS DONE AND I WILL PICK HIM UP. THAT WAS AT 10 IN THE MORNING. I DIDN'T GET CALLED UNTIL THE LIBRARY CLOSED AT 9 THAT NIGHT. AND HE EVEN HAS HIS OWN TRUCK! SO HE CAN GO THERE ANY TIME HE WANTS. I JUST WANTED TO SEE WHAT HE WOULD DO WITHOUT A COMPUTER. WAIT UNTIL HE FINDS OUT THAT HE CAN CHECK HIS E-MAIL ON HIS KINDLE FIRE! HE HASN'T EVEN DISCOVERED THAT YET - HE JUST READS HIS BIBLE ON IT. AND YET ANOTHER PLACE - CYBER CAFES - ALL OVER TOWN. HE DOESN'T KNOW ABOUT THOSE EITHER. I AM SAVING THAT FOR WHEN HE CAN'T STAND ALL THE LITTLE KIDS IN THE LIBRARY. (HE IS NOT A FAN OF CHILDREN) OH THE WONDERS OF MODERN TECHNOLOGY! I GUESS MY LIFE MUST BE FAR SIMPLER OR COULD IT BE THAT I STILL HAVE ALL THE CHORES TO DO IN ADDITION TO THE THINGS I'VE LISTED? HMMM .....
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