Life Will Never Be The Same
One year and one month ago I lost my best friend, my sweetheart, my reason for living. He died in a cruel accident and I can't see any point in going on. I go through the motions every day, but feel like joining him. I have no energy, I can't sleep, I can't stop thinking about him and all I do is eat and cry and watch old tv shows, wishing I could just disappear. I'll never meet another like him. We were soul mates, 33 years together. Now I'm alone with no one to care about who cares about me. It's hopeless. I go to counseling, journal, yada yada, nothing helps. I just miss him so much I can't stand it. Life is cruel.
Replies
I just saw this journal entry now. Such a sad story. :-( I hope that the months have been kind to you and that as time goes on, the pain will ease up a bit.
I still miss him every day. I feel like a shadow of my former self. I put away my ring the other day, so painful to wear it knowing I\'m not attached to him anymore. Put all our pictures away too, just too painful to look at them every day. I feel like I\'m going through the motions of living, but decided I\'m going to keep living and not try anymore suicide attempts. I\'m finding little things to wake up for - I like making pizza - we used to make pizza together and I feel close to him when I make it. I go for ice cream. I\'m gardening again. All the things we used to do together when we were both happy and he was with me. I still dram about him and instead of cry when I wake up I write down the dreams and rally enjoy them as my special time to be close with him. In my dreams, he is alive again and it feels so real. I just let them be real for me. I will always love my Mario