Life, what's so special about it?...
Dear God,
I don't understand what's so damn special about life and being here? If life is supposed to be a gift, can I get a refund? This is like being forced to go to a party then standing in the corner since I don't fit in & then watching others have fun...
I'm pleading with you GOD, take this life immediately, now, pronto; I want out! Call me a taxi - otherwise I'll walk out...Why the hell did you put me here to begin with - is this punishment/retribution from sins past? Is this some joke!? If so, I get it; now I command you to get me out of here now! If there's a mission/purpose for me, please advise immediately so I can fulfill it and be done...
signed
'Clueless, Confused & Lost' (1966-2011?)
I don't understand what's so damn special about life and being here? If life is supposed to be a gift, can I get a refund? This is like being forced to go to a party then standing in the corner since I don't fit in & then watching others have fun...
I'm pleading with you GOD, take this life immediately, now, pronto; I want out! Call me a taxi - otherwise I'll walk out...Why the hell did you put me here to begin with - is this punishment/retribution from sins past? Is this some joke!? If so, I get it; now I command you to get me out of here now! If there's a mission/purpose for me, please advise immediately so I can fulfill it and be done...
signed
'Clueless, Confused & Lost' (1966-2011?)
Replies
Sorry that you are in such pain. I could tell you that I honestly believe that this is one part of you that speaks and there is (definitely) another who doesn\'t want a taxi. Who needs the right path, a bridge to cross over -- a good turn at the cross roads but that probably doesn\'t help at the moment.
Be kind to yourself. I do hope you hang in there because you are a person who cares alot.
Wow, I can so relate to this. Well, except I now view god as creating the beginning of time and existence and then this god simply became one with this \'blast of energy\' and evolution took over from that point on. But everything else you share I feel and am in crisis right now. I just become so numb from coping that I don\'t have to feel much of anything and that allows me to get on with life - such as it is for now.
I hope our lives improve very soon and we are sharing the better times in our journals.
Gentle ((hugs))
:-) Patricia
I don\'t know what to say, but I can totally relate to what you\'ve written. I\'m so sorry things are so difficult right now and I sincerely hope things get better very soon.
I hope you\'ll hang on....you\'re worth the fight.
I relate also. I am going through some dark times also. Keep talking and we will help each other through this. HUGS!
The sad part is that after reading other\'s testimonies of their trials and tribulations, I don\'t even deserve to be so depressed, yet I am. I\'m slowly losing the will to go on...
Please don\'t lose hope, mal.
There was a day back in 2009 where I decided to end my life. Instead I stood at the foot of my bed and looked for anything that would stop me from going forward with it. This is what came to me, \"I just wish tomorrow would be a better day.\" With that I decided to go to bed. To my surprise the next morning turned out beautiful. I felt so at peace with myself and with life. All of my pain had disappeared and I was able to see myself for the first time in 21 years. With that I have to say that God does not want you to end your life. He wants you to live it in whatever way that you can, even if it is in pain. Don\'t be mistaken, God is looking over us all and he is helping us as we suffer. You may not see nor feel him but he is there, I promise you. I hope that God will come to you as he has come to me and show you the light not only in the world but in yourself. Please hold on, that is all God wants you to do. Keep silent and you\'ll be able to hear his voice inside your heart.