life stinks
Do you ever feel like life just plain sucks. Why does it seem that bad things always happen to good people. Then you have people who you know are pretty rotten, but yet things just always go their way. I just don't understand.
I went to visit my daughter today at her college & take her out to dinner. We had a nice time as we usually do. Now that it is just me driving to the college, I have way too much time to think & listen to all the sad songs. So of course I cried half of the drive. The college my daughter attends is the same college my husband went to. He loved going to visit our youngest daughter & hear all about her classes, etc. She & her dad were always so close. She was definitely Daddy's little girl. Its just so different now without him with us. I try to make it a nice visit as I know my daughter does too. Its just isn't the same & I know it never will be. She will be graduating next Spring. I am already dreading that day. I know it will be extremely hard for my daughter. I know all that about oh he will be with us in spirit & watching from above, etc. But lets face it. Its not the same & won't take away the hurt. My husband got to see our other 2 daughters graduate from college so it just seems so unfair that the youngest won't have this joy. Oh I don't mean to ramble. It was just a hard day again. When will I ever start to feel like a person again. A happy person who enjoys life. I am not looking forward to the 4th. I just don't like being around family while everyone is laughing & happy & have their husbands & wives. I don't let them know this is how I feel. I try to put on a happy face but its going to be hard. I guess I will just have to make an excuse as to why I leave early. I can always say I have to go home to let my dog out. After all she is 14 years old now.
Oh well, I can feel that tightness in my throat, you know where you get anxious & it like hurts when you swallow so you try to take deep breaths. Maybe its time for me to try to get some sleep. I can sure use a good nights rest. Good night.
I went to visit my daughter today at her college & take her out to dinner. We had a nice time as we usually do. Now that it is just me driving to the college, I have way too much time to think & listen to all the sad songs. So of course I cried half of the drive. The college my daughter attends is the same college my husband went to. He loved going to visit our youngest daughter & hear all about her classes, etc. She & her dad were always so close. She was definitely Daddy's little girl. Its just so different now without him with us. I try to make it a nice visit as I know my daughter does too. Its just isn't the same & I know it never will be. She will be graduating next Spring. I am already dreading that day. I know it will be extremely hard for my daughter. I know all that about oh he will be with us in spirit & watching from above, etc. But lets face it. Its not the same & won't take away the hurt. My husband got to see our other 2 daughters graduate from college so it just seems so unfair that the youngest won't have this joy. Oh I don't mean to ramble. It was just a hard day again. When will I ever start to feel like a person again. A happy person who enjoys life. I am not looking forward to the 4th. I just don't like being around family while everyone is laughing & happy & have their husbands & wives. I don't let them know this is how I feel. I try to put on a happy face but its going to be hard. I guess I will just have to make an excuse as to why I leave early. I can always say I have to go home to let my dog out. After all she is 14 years old now.
Oh well, I can feel that tightness in my throat, you know where you get anxious & it like hurts when you swallow so you try to take deep breaths. Maybe its time for me to try to get some sleep. I can sure use a good nights rest. Good night.
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