Life's meaning...
In my ideation of suicide and death, I've also wondered what's beyond this life. I believe in reincarnation; I believe this world is a school and we are all here to learn and teach from others to others respectively...We are all truly immortal (our souls) and it is only the physical body that dies. In an effort to get in touch with my spiritual self, I've been reading books (by Dr. Brian Weiss & others) and researching pass lives/regression on the internet and it just makes sense that when we pass on, the lights just don't go out and there's a dead silence for eternity - no, our souls pass on and we enter a new realm of some sort. I believe this world is a classroom and there are different souls in different 'grades'; some souls are more advanced than others. At the conclusion of our lives, there is some sort of a review and it is then determined if we've passed or if we need to return to complete our 'assignment'. If we have completed and passed to the next level we may return to this 'school' to continue learning at the next level or grade - like passing from 8th to 9th grade.
Suicide can be seen as cutting class or dropping out. We would have to learn these painful lessons again, perhaps in another setting. I've wondered if we would simply repeat this life again with the opportunity of making different decisions thereby altering what we are now experiencing. Completing suicide would be like hitting the 'reset button'; you'd be starting over at the begining; at the same level or grade. You don't advance; your lessons would have to be relearned. Therefore, I don't believe suicide is a permanent fix to a temporary problem; I believe it's quite the opposite in the spiritual world - it is a temporary fix to an obastacle that will be permanent until that soul overcomes whatever their fear is that their lives present them (a continuously temporary fix to a permanet problem)...
Realizing this I don't know if it alleviates my own fears, pain, frustration I am currently experiencing in this life. I feel my soul just is not at the same level as others - I'm at the kindergarden level while others around me are in high school...Others have this sense of purpose, energy, drive to live their lives fully while I'm stuck in this rut, trying to find my way, my purpose/meaning, trying to make sense of this existence, etc. It frustrates me that I'm spending so much time searching for answers that I probably may never get, why can't I just 'live' like everyone else - why must I have reasons for everything and get immensely frustrated at non-answers?
Suicide can be seen as cutting class or dropping out. We would have to learn these painful lessons again, perhaps in another setting. I've wondered if we would simply repeat this life again with the opportunity of making different decisions thereby altering what we are now experiencing. Completing suicide would be like hitting the 'reset button'; you'd be starting over at the begining; at the same level or grade. You don't advance; your lessons would have to be relearned. Therefore, I don't believe suicide is a permanent fix to a temporary problem; I believe it's quite the opposite in the spiritual world - it is a temporary fix to an obastacle that will be permanent until that soul overcomes whatever their fear is that their lives present them (a continuously temporary fix to a permanet problem)...
Realizing this I don't know if it alleviates my own fears, pain, frustration I am currently experiencing in this life. I feel my soul just is not at the same level as others - I'm at the kindergarden level while others around me are in high school...Others have this sense of purpose, energy, drive to live their lives fully while I'm stuck in this rut, trying to find my way, my purpose/meaning, trying to make sense of this existence, etc. It frustrates me that I'm spending so much time searching for answers that I probably may never get, why can't I just 'live' like everyone else - why must I have reasons for everything and get immensely frustrated at non-answers?
Replies
I don\'t follow through on my thoughts when I am considering suicide, so far, as I want to get as much good out of life as I can and I know if I \'check out\' I \'miss out\' on any good I may find by staying here. If I reach the place I can no longer take care of myself and where I am at the \'mercy\' of others to care about me I will then leave knowing that mercy is in short supply in this world.
I\'m glad you have arrived at some lessons well learned.
((hugs))
:-) Patricia
I\'m glad that you have an idea of death which in a way discourages you from its undertaking.
As far as those people who are \"\"winners\"\", I too have this fantasy of others having it so much more together but deep down inside I think we are much more the same than different -- it\'s just that we are in different environments -- also the small differentiation is the individual essential will inside.
Polar Conflicts:
I was realizing when I was doing my art that I was holding two opposites and that that this was possible to do without being frozen - these two opposites were a strong feeling that I couldn\'t achieve a hard goal and a strong feeling that I could.
I could jump or dive into either of these \"extremes\" to see what the truth was (is?).