Life's circumstances
I decided not to go the prescribed sleep aid route as of yet. I ran out and bought Valarin last night, turned my phone off as soon as I got home from work and started reading a book. Pretty soon the meds kicked in and I estimate what sleep I got was deeper than usual although it was probably only 5 hrs, but it's a start and I feel more rested today.
WARNING!! I'm gonna be longwinded....
I was listening to a motivational youtube video this morning. The words that stuck out to me were "Don't live your life at the mercy of Life's circumstances." I got to work and wrote it down and its on my computer monitor so I can read it more than once. Yesterday, I went home and had a talk with my roommate. I told him I felt trapped where we were and would very much like to change my life. I feel by letting "life's circumstances" put me at it's mercy, I have put myself in a job that pays well enough, but gives me chest pains. I've isolated myself because I've let "life's circumstances" put me with someone I don't love romantically. I've let "life's circumstances" allow me to sign a lease that I'm now stuck in for 10 months. It's all fear based. I looked in my closet last night thinking I need more clothes but then thought, do I really need them? A person can only wear so much, a monk wears the same robe daily, what makes me better? I want to think like the monks do. Simple, slowing down and doing everything that matters with purpose, and simply letting go of "things" and toxic people. I forget sometimes, that in my divorce I lost everything. So the moment I start worrying about losing everything, I stop myself and remind myself that I was ok with nothing and being noone is still something.
Replies
If this is long-winded, Sage, my hyper-graphia is even more intense than my dx'ing shrinks thought. . . I seem to be running out of finger strength much faster than I am running out of important opinions in need of publishing.
Saluting from one side while offering support from the other, my healing warrior. Outstanding epitome. Go you! ! ! May it lead you to sustainable choices.
I really believe that we are all on this earth to learn to let go of fear.. There is a spiritual path that even teaches it. It says that there are only two emotions...Love, and fear. Love is of God but fear is man made and includes all of your negative emotions like anger, hate jealousy etc which is all fear of something. I love this post. It rings a bell.
God Bless