LIFE NOW
I HAVE STRUGGELED MY ENTIRE LIFE WTH PROBLEMS OF MANY CIRCUMSTANCE. I HAVE BEEN AT THE BOTTOM OF THE HOLE AND I HAVE CLIMBED MY WAY OUT BEFORE. I NOW FIND MYSELF STUCK IN THE MIDDLE NOW TRYING TO PUT AWAY ALL THE DENIAL. I CONSTANTLY ASK WHY ME WHY ME LIFE WHY MY FAMILY, AND STILL NO ANSWERS. ONLY ONE THING KEEPS ME GOING AND THAT IS MY SON. HE IS MY ALL, MY ROCK, MY REASON TO LIVE, MY SUNSINE ON A CLOUDY DAY. YES HE IS ONLY 1 1/2 BUT WITHOUT HIM I WOULD FALL APART BACK INTO DEPRESSION. OH THE DEPRESSION, YES I HAVE EXPERIENCED THE ENTIRE SPECTRUM OF DEPRESSION AND ANXIETY. I HAVE TOUGHT MYSELF NOT TO FALL BACK IN TO THAT, IT WAS TO HORRIBLE FOR ME TO EVER RETURN. FROM JUST PLAIN OLD DEPRESSION TO SEVERE PAIN/ANXIETY ATTACKS, I HAVE BEEN THERE DONE THAT. I WILL NOT ALLOW THIS THING KNOW AS IIH STOP ME FROM LIVING, I WILL NOT LET IT STOP ME FROM FINISHING SCHOOL, AND I SURE AS HELL WILL NOT LET IT STOP ME FROM BEING TE BEST MOTHER I CAN BE. IIH, YOU SUCK, YOU GO BACK WHERE U CAMEFRM, U LEAVE ME ALONE. LET ME BE AND LIVE MY LIFE. AND IF YOU DO NOT, I WILL FIGHT YOU WITH EVERYTHING I HAVE. I WILL NOT ALLOW YOU TO STEAL MY LIFE!!!
APRIL LEEDY 1/4/11
APRIL LEEDY 1/4/11
Replies
Oh April , I feel and share your pain. I have been fighting the good fight for three years now.But fear I am growing weary.
I to, have suffered at the hands of depression, nasty bug that it is, but have managed to keep it at bay,(with the help of meds).
I think you willl find, that almost all of us, can and do got to that dark place, because of our illness.
If, nothing else, know you are not alone. We walk each step with you.
We will, some how, get thru this mess that is IIH,together.
Cath.